Losing Grip
by JoinTheHunt1981
Summary: When Alex is swept from Gene's life suddenly by the repercussions of a seemingly normal case, how will he cope without her by his side every day? More to the point, could he have done anything in the run up to help her and stop her from being taken from him? Lots of angst but there will be Galex! THIS FIC IS RATED M AND THAT IS FOR A REASON, ESPECIALLY IN LATER CHAPTERS. Enjoy!
1. Prologue: Alone

**So I'm back! :) This is my latest fic and as I warned before, it is angsty and not particularly nice to poor Alex :( and I'm still not sure whether I should publish it or not but I will and see what you guys think! ****This is just the prologue so it's quite short. For now, this fic is probably a K+ but WILL eventually go up to M for later themes/content.**

**I know exactly where this one is going. After 'White Envelopes' (which probably went on for far too long), I thought I should probably write a story plan and stick to it!**

**Anyway, here's the prologue to my latest offering and I hope you enjoy andplease don't forget to review! Chapter un-Beta-d so any mistakes are entirely my fault. I should probably tell you I don't own Ashes to Ashes or any characters you recognise...**

* * *

Gene slumped on the sofa and squinted at his watch. It was quarter to two in the morning. He knew he should really go to bed, but what was the point when he knew he wouldn't sleep? He took a pull out of the whiskey bottle and sighed. He missed her. It had been three weeks, five days, eighteen hours and forty six minutes since she had gone. Left his life. And he missed her.

He missed the way she would strut into the office fifteen minutes late. He missed the way she would flick a quick, coy glance into his office when she thought he wasn't looking to see if he'd noticed. He missed the way she would talk to or at him; nag him or fill him in on the case as she sat in the passenger seat of the Quattro. He missed her company in the evenings at Luigi's, the way she would begin by arguing with him and then start chatting to him and then start flirting with him, smiling as she did so as she got more and more tipsy. He missed being able to stagger up the stairs to her flat when he had had too much to drink and she would let him in, no questions asked, hand him a glass of water, a pillow and a blanket and let him crash on the sofa.

Most of all, he just missed _her_. Her killer outfits; her bouncy, shiny brunette hair; her amazing figure; her beautiful, open, honest eyes; her sunny laugh and her glossy, kissable lips. Gene missed Alex more than he ever thought he would.

So how was it that he was so seethingly, ferociously angry with her at the same time? It wasn't fair. Why did she have to go? He wasn't ready to lose her. No way had she been ready to leave. How could she have done what she did to him and then just _go? _It had seemingly come out of the blue and he was angry with her for not confiding in him earlier but he was maybe partly angry at himself for not picking up on what was happening to her sooner. He had been such a bastard to her over the last few months and weeks before she went. Why had he been so cold as he said his final goodbye when all he had wanted to do was pull her into his arms?

He wondered where she was now. Was she happy? Did she miss him? Did she even think about him? He wished to God that he had done more to help her when he could, before it was too late. He wished he could turn the clock back nine months and change the events of that fateful day when Alex had begun to be pulled from him, so slowly and subtly at first that he didn't even notice. Neither of them did.

Gene took another pull from the bottle and checked the time again. Almost two. Sighing, he replaced the cap on the bottle, plonked it on the coffee table, stood and went and got ready for bed, knowing that he would wake in the morning with a sore head and a Bolly shaped hole in his life.

He collapsed into bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. Maybe if he fell asleep now, he would wake up and Bols would be back where she belonged.

He rolled over and just as his eyes were becoming heavy he jumped out of his skin as the bedside phone shrilled. Damn thing. Despite having had a phone by his bed for almost fifteen years in case work needed to get hold of him, he'd never get used to it! Squinting at the alarm clock display and profusely wishing that people wouldn't murder each other at gone half two in the morning, he reached out of bed and picked it up.

"DCI Hunt."

"Gene? It's me."

"Bolly?" he asked in sleepy disbelief. It was wonderful to hear her voice! He thought he never would again. He was just about to ask her how she was but then his anger at her kicked in. "Drake," he said coldly, the sleep clearing from his voice. "You've been livin' over there almost four weeks now. Surely you've got yer silly little head around the fact that you're eight bloody hours behind London?"

"Gene, please." Her voice sounded wavery and thin, like she was on the brink of tears. "I'm at Heathrow Airport. Please can you pick me up?"

* * *

**There we go then. I think I'm a bit out of practice on the writing front but hopefully I'll get back into the swing it soon!**

**I should also let you know: All of the chapters (and the title) of this fic are connected. First person to spot this connection and tell me what it is gets dinner with Gene...**

**All those that review get a drink with him... :) Hope you enjoyed. Chapter one up soon if you did! xxx**


	2. Chapter One: What The Hell

**So, the story really begins...**

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews for the prologue and don't forget, the connection between the chapter and title names is still there and as I said before, the first person to tell me that connection gets dinner with Gene!**

**I don't own Ashes to Ashes or and recognisable characters/locations!**

**On with chapter one!**

* * *

_**Nine months previously...**_

"Ok, children," Gene said, standing in the middle of the room, demanding attention and respect, "this case that's just come in is a bit of a juicy one. Edward Lichfield is an American businessman from Carmel, California who deals mainly in property. He nipped across the pond to size up an investment opportunity in the form of an old building which he wishes to convert into luxury flats here in London. However, he gets here to discover said building is being used on an almost nightly basis as a knocking shop and a crack den, headed by some scrote who has somehow slipped under my radar and I want him found. I put out an appeal about this case and we now have a list of several potential witnesses who have come forward. Ray and Chris," he said, dropping a sheet of paper onto Ray's desk, "I want you to talk to and get a statement off all of them. Shaz, when they've done that, I want you to cross reference any descriptions of hookers, druggies, whatever with the usual suspects and then get someone to pull them in for questioning. The rest of you can go over any of the drugs cases from the past six months and see if there is a link," he finished, glancing round the room to make sure everyone had taken their instructions on board. "Well?" he demanded when no one moved. "What are you waiting for?" Immediately, the room burst into activity.

Alex sat back in her chair and watched, knowing that any minute now, Gene was going to fling some instructions or something her way. Sure enough, he approached her and leant on the desk.

"You, DI Bollyknickers, are coming with me," he said.

"Where are you whisking me off to this time, Guv?" she asked him, smiling slightly as she pulled on her jacket.

"Hot date with an American, Bols. We're going to pay Edward Lichfield a visit."

"Oh, you _do _spoil me," she replied as they walked out the office.

"Just for you, Drakey," he smirked. "Just for you."

And there it was. The chemistry between them. The friendship that had grown stronger and stronger in the last few months. They noticed that they had been arguing less and less. Yes, they still bickered and snapped at one another but the amount of full on nose-to-nose shouting matches they were renowned for that had gone on in the past six months could be counted on one hand. Well...maybe two, but still. There was definitely less of them. In some ways, the lack of arguing was a relief but in others, it wasn't. It meant there was a lot of pent up frustration bubbling away below the surface and although it didn't affect their relationship in any way, there was no outlet for it, seeing as they no longer shouted at each other until one of them backed down, or they stormed away from each other. This meant that they were going to have to find another outlet for this frustration, ultimately, a more _physical _one.

The thing was, who would crack first? As a psychologist, Alex knew they were going to have to let out the frustration sooner rather than later and God knows it had been building for long enough. The hand brushing, the innuendos, the suggestive glances, standing closer to each other than was strictly necessary...Oh yes, it was going to happen, but when? She didn't know how to make the first move. Truth be told, she didn't have the confidence.

Gene also knew one of them was going to have to give in at some point. He had nearly asked Alex out to dinner on several occasions-if you're going to do it, may as well do it properly-but he had always chickened out at the last minute.

So, both knew, without the other knowing, that they had to do something soon. However, neither seemed to have the confidence to make the first move, thus continuing the silly little dance they were doing around each other.

* * *

Gene pulled the Quattro up outside a small wine bar in Bethnal Green.

"We're meeting him here?" asked Alex, admiring the colourful display of late spring flowers outside the cosy looking building.

"Yep," Gene muttered. "Flash tosser _insisted_ on meeting here."

They both walked inside and were greeted by a light, modern space with welcoming looking comfy chairs and sofas and a circular bar that stood central to the room. The walls were decked out with film posters and various vintage photographs and music played softly in the background.

"Hello, Sir, Madam. Can I help you?" asked an impeccably turned out waiter.

"Yes, we're meeting an Edward Lichfield here," Gene replied.

"May I ask who you are?" inquired the waiter, eyeing Gene suspiciously and giving Alex the quick once over. Gene's blood boiled at this and he pulled out his warrant card.

"DCI Hunt and this is DI Drake," he said in a professional, don't-mess-with-me voice, stepping a little closer to Alex so his arm brushed hers.

"Of course, Sir," the waiter smiled to hide his sudden discomfort. "Mr Lichfield is waiting for you. Follow me," he said, turning and leading them past the bar, through an unmarked door and out into a small, secluded sun trap of a garden. It had a lush, green lawn which blew gently in the warm breeze and an ancient ornamental cherry tree which was dripping in pink spring blossom, standing in the corner. A beautiful honeysuckle crawled up the fence and draped itself in the tree, like a string of fragrant fairy lights. Various other plants grew around the garden and closest to the building, there was a patio on which stood a wooden garden table surrounded by four comfy looking seats. In one of these seats sat a tall, well built man with floppy sun streaked golden blonde hair which was stylishly mussed, deep brown eyes and a healthy looking, natural brown suntan. He screamed wealthy, Californian businessman to Alex.

As Gene and Alex approached him, he stood and flashed them a smile, displaying a set of perfect white teeth that just _had_ to be the result of some cosmetic work. _"Oh well," _Alex mused, _"He's only human."_

"Hello," Lichfield greeted them, his distinctive west-coast American accent coming through.

"_Very Baywatch," _thought Alex. It was funny. Now she surveyed him closer up, he was looking less and less like a businessman and more and more like a surfer boy, dressed as he was in a light blue linen shirt, slightly open at the front, and a pair of light, cotton, chino-like trousers. The effect was only added to when he pulled his Ray Bans off his head and put them on to protect his eyes from the bright sunlight pouring into the garden.

"Hi," Alex replied flashing him her best smile and gripping his outstretched hand in hers. "I'm DI Alex Drake."

"Hello, DI Drake. I'm Edward Lichfield," he replied, looking deep into her eyes and clasping her hand for a few seconds longer than necessary. Gene coughing a little awkwardly and discreetly elbowing Alex broke them from their trance.

"Mr Lichfield," he said, "I'm DCI Hunt." The men shook hands and then all three sat down.

"This is a lovely place, Mr Lichfield," Alex commented. "How did you know it was here?"

"Please, call me Edward," he said, a little embarrassedly. "And it's mine. Well, forty percent of it, anyway," he grinned. "I opened this place up a few years back with a business partner. He runs the joint because I'm based over in Carmel most of the time. He's responsible for all the decor and design inside. This garden, however, was my idea. I loved the thought of a secret garden. So British! We rent it out in the summer for private parties."

"Yes, well, it does have a very English charm about it," smiled Alex, looking round as a fat bumble bee buzzed lazily nearby and the breeze shook a few blossom petals from the tree, like confetti.

"Gardens aside," interjected Gene, nudging Alex again under the table and earning himself a glare, "what can you tell me about the comings and goings of this property of yours, Mr Lichfield?"

"Well, pretty much what I told you on the phone," he said, suddenly all professional. "I came over to scope out the place, see if it was worth investment and possible for redevelopment. As soon as I had placed the deposit on it, I had it wired up with CCTV, as I do all my properties, no matter where they are. When I went with the architect one morning to measure up the building, I noticed that several windows had been smashed and there were bottles and needles all over the floor. I went through the CCTV footage and saw what I described to you on the phone-Druggie rave, hoochie mamas, you name it. Anyway, I kept tabs on the situation for the next week or so and when I saw it happening every night, I came to you."

"Would it be possible for us to see copies of these CCTV tapes, Edward?" asked Alex.

"Of course," he smiled at her. "I'll get some copies made and sent over to you."

"Well, Mr Lichfield, we put an appeal out about this case and we've had two or three potential witnesses come forward, claiming they saw people coming and going from the building and some of my officers are interviewing them now."

"Thank you, Mr Hunt."

"There's not a lot more we can do for now," Gene continued, "but we'll keep you in the loop," he finished, shaking Edward's outstretched hand again, standing and heading to the door.

"Thank you," Lichfield said to him.

"We'll be in touch," Alex said. "Please don't hesitate to contact us though if anything else happens."

"Of course, Miss Drake."

"Alex."

"Of course, Alex," he smiled, lifting his sunglasses up so he could look at her properly. "Alex?"

"Yes?"

"How long have you lived in London?"

"All my life. Why?"

"It's just, I'll bet you've never done any of the touristy stuff, have you? You know, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben..."

"Well, no. Not since a school trip when I was about sixteen or seventeen," she replied.

"Well, he said, reaching into his pocket, "if you ever want to feel seventeen again, call me," he continued, handing her his business card. "I'd love to take you to see London. Proper London."

"Ok," she smiled. "I'll bear that in mind."

"Goodbye, Alex."

"Bye, Edward," she said, standing up and following Gene.

"What was all that about?" asked Gene when she joined him inside.

"Oh," she blushed. "He gave me his number."

"I'd stay away from him, Drake. He only wants to get into yer knickers," Gene warned.

"And you don't?" she joked. Gene just grunted. "Are you jealous, Mr Hunt?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"No," he said, bluntly._"Yes,"_ he subconsciously admitted to himself. "So," Gene continued out loud, "you gonna ring him?"

"Hmm. Well, we'll have to wait and see," Alex replied, nudging him before slipping the business card into her pocket.

* * *

_**Two weeks later...**_

Alex was pissed off. Massively pissed off. With Gene. And it wasn't even quarter to nine in the morning yet.

The case involving Edward Lichfield and his property was drawing to a close, they were just relying on this one last stakeout and swoop on the property to catch the bastard at the head of it all. They were relying on a final stakeout and sting that Gene was refusing to let Alex take part in.

"_I told you, Bolly. You're _not _coming!"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because Jacobs is a psychotic nutter! Have you read his file; seen his previous, Alex? He abducts women, tortures them, rapes them and then kills them very slowly and very painfully!"_

"_So? I'm an adult! I can take care of myself!"_

"_Says the woman who got herself locked in a bloody freezer. I said no!"_

"_For God's sake, Gene! I'm your bloody DI!"_

"_Yes, and you're also a woman. I don't want you anywhere near this sick bastard until he's safely in police custody!"_

"_You...you misogynistic BASTARD!"_

"_Listen, Drake, you're staying behind your desk and not moving until this sting is over or so help me, I'll demote you to DS and stick you on bloody paperwork for six months!" _

And now Alex was fuming. She knew, deep down, that Gene had only left her behind because he cared about her, but still. She was his DI! She was his partner! She really, really needed a way to let out her anger; her frustration at being left behind when all she wanted to be doing was being a police officer.

Oh, God. She had such a headache coming on. Alex reached into her handbag to retrieve the box of paracetamol she knew was in there and in doing so, pulled out a small rectangle of paper. Edward Lichfield's business card. She smiled. Maybe she had found an outlet for her frustration after all. It would be nice to get out with someone new. She pulled her phone towards her and smiled.

"Edward, hi. It's Alex. Alex Drake..."

* * *

"Oh, wow! I haven't done that in _ages,"_ giggled Alex as she sat across the table from Edward in a small coffee shop just off Trafalgar Square. As promised, Edward had taken her around most of the touristy areas of London.

"Feeling seventeen again?" he asked.

"Just about," she smiled, taking a mouthful of strawberry cheesecake.

"Good," he grinned.

"Thank you, Edward. Thank you for a lovely day," she squeezed his hand across the table. God, he was gorgeous, she thought, and so lovely and charming too.

"Well," Edward said, interrupting her thoughts, "it doesn't have to end here."

"Really? What else do you suggest?"

"Well, there's still Tower Bridge or Liverpool Street Station to visit, we could go for a walk along the river, or I'm renting the most incredible deluxe suite at the Ritz..."

Alex's breath caught at his implication. She thought about it. She was attracted to Edward; she found him interesting and lovely and charming and he obviously liked her...What harm could it do? It wouldn't hurt anyone for her to have a bit of fun if she wasn't allowed to be off with the others doing what she was _good _at. Alex tried to remember the last time she had made a snap decision. Usually, she liked men to wine her and dine her and prove they were going to treat her properly before she even _considered _going to bed with them...

Oh, what the hell!

"Well, Mr Lichfield. I think I've done _quite_ enough walking today. Will you show me this deluxe suite of yours?" she purred seductively, gently resting her head on her hand.

"Certainly, Ms Drake. Follow me," he instructed, leaving a handful of cash on the table, taking her hand and leading her out of the cafe, both giggling like teenagers and feeling an adrenalin buzz as they hailed a taxi.

* * *

Later on, Alex lay blissfully dozing in Edward's arms in an amazingly comfy king sized bed in the impressive hotel suite. She could smell the aromatic flowers that stood in vases about the room and she was vaguely aware of the thudding of Edward's heart as she rested her fevered cheek against his chest.

She felt his lips on hers. She could taste the champagne they had both drunk when they arrived back. She smiled into the kiss, threading her fingers into his tussled caramel blonde hair and opened her eyes.

"Hey," he said softly, running his hand through her hair.

"Hi," she replied.

"I'm afraid we're gonna have to shift it," he said remorsefully.

"Why?"

"Because I have a business meeting in half an hour."

"Oh," she pouted.

"I'm sorry," he said, brushing her cheek. "We'll have to do this again though," he dipped his head to kiss her again.

"Yeah," she replied wistfully and watched as he climbed out of bed. He went to the wardrobe and pulled out a sharp, freshly laundered suit and a dazzlingly white shirt and pulled them on and then disappeared into one of the three bathrooms the suite boasted to make himself more presentable. Stretching lazily, Alex too climbed out of bed and retrieved her clothes, which were scattered about the floor. She smoothed her hair back into place in the ornate gilt mirror and went and scrubbed off her smudged makeup in the bathroom. Then, she made her way down to the lobby with Edward.

Outside, he kissed her passionately and put her into a waiting taxi.

"Call me," he said as he shut the door on her. Alex smiled and waved.

When she arrived back at Luigi's wafting in a dreamy, rose-tinted cloud, the team was there celebrating what she assumed was a successful swoop and takedown. She wanted to head straight up to her flat and relive her wonderful day with Edward, but Gene called her over.

"Alright?" he asked as she sat down.

"Yes," she smiled. "Successful sting?"

"Fan-bloody-tastic," he grinned. However, his expression quickly turned serious. "I thought I told you that if you moved from your desk, I'd demote you to DS and put you on paperwork?" Alex rolled her eyes.

"It's not like I went anywhere near your silly little operation, is it?"

"True. Where've you been then?"

"Out."

"Oh yeah? With anyone?" he asked, trying to keep the jealous interest out of his voice.

"Maybe."

"Who?"

"Edward Lichfield."

"Good day?" he asked, noticing she looked a little rough and mussed around the edges.

"You could say that," she smiled.

Gene felt a surge of jealousy. Now that he looked at Alex properly, he could see that although she had tried to scrub off her makeup, some of it was still smudged under her eyes, she had what looked suspiciously like bed hair and her blouse was in need of an iron, the two top buttons missing. She had a smug, satisfied air about her and a small smirk playing on her lips. She had obviously slept with Lichfield. His world suddenly began to slowly split at the seams. He cursed himself. _Why _hadn't he made his move sooner? He had had plenty of opportunity.

"Good. Well," Gene said, reverting into strict, wanker-of-a-boss mode, "as long as you're in early tomorrow to help interview Jacobs."

Alex surveyed him through narrowed eyes. Was he jealous?

"I thought you said I wasn't allowed near him?" she said shortly.

"You are now he's safely in police custody. Also, Drake, next time you want to go swanning off round London, do it in your _own _time and not when you have work to do," Gene said sternly. His brain wasn't engaging before he spoke and he didn't realise how much of a bastard he sounded until he had actually spoken.

"Fine," she said crisply. She got up from the table and walked out the restaurant without another word. The rose tinted glasses that had been protecting her eyes just moments ago suddenly shattered and the world took on the harsh, tainted light it normally had.

Gene spent the rest of the evening at Luigi's, and when he got home, until he was awake in the small hours, trying to tell himself that one shag; a one off event didn't mean anything. She might never see Lichfield again. However, it didn't stop him agonising over how he had missed his chance with Alex and berating himself for being such a bastard and taking out his jealousy on her.

* * *

**BAD GENE!**

**Reading back through this, I have realised there is quite a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter...**

**Please review...My morale is low at the moment because of college and EPQ...damn EPQ...and reviews will help boost it. Also, who doesn't like getting reviews? :)**

**Also, if you review, I'll give you the keys to Luigi's for the night!**

**Thanks so, so much for reading! xxx**


	3. Chapter Two: Take Me Away

**NEW CHAPTER TIME! :) I've upped the rating to M now. I'm not sure whether this chapter _should _be an M or not, but it was going to go up at some point anyway.**

**Not too sure about how this chapter turned out so if you could leave me a little review telling me what you think, I'd appreciate it! I don't own Ashes to Ashes, any recognisable characters etc, etc. The chapter is also un-Beta-d.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

And that's how it continued over the next few months.

Alex tried to approach Gene and get on with him, but he was upset and channelled this into jealousy and being horrible to her and therefore, Alex spent more and more time with Edward and distanced herself from Gene, just as he was doing to her.

They no longer sat together in Luigi's, Gene no longer made late night visits to Alex's flat and when they spoke to each other, it was always about the current case at work, using few words as possible and even then it usually ended in them insulting or degrading one another. A couple of times Alex brought Edward into Luigi's to spite Gene because she was so upset over losing his friendship. She knew it was childish, but she was hurting. She missed Gene. Edward was good company but, just over a month into their relationship, she began to get the sneaking suspicion that tiny, tiny hairline cracks were beginning to form in the bond they shared.

Gene missed Alex. He, as a result of not really being on speaking terms with Bolly, was spending more time with Chris and Ray. This was fantastic. It was almost like being back in Manchester again, obviously minus Sam. He knew he was being stupid and he should just talk to her and try and be happy that one of his closest friends had found someone, but he just couldn't. Every time he opened his mouth to speak to her, his tongue turned to lead and his throat to sawdust.

Then, one morning, seven or so months after Alex's first date with Edward, Gene realised something. He had lost Sam, his best friend. Now, he was losing Bolly, his closest friend since Sam. He knew that he hadn't had a choice when it came to Sam. The greater beings had decided his number was up and _crash, splash, _Sam, in Gene's beloved Cortina nonetheless, had landed in the river and he had never seen him again. And that hurt. With Alex, he had a choice. He was just letting his jealousy get in the way and he had to _stop_ letting it. Tonight, he decided. Tonight, he would buy her a drink and they could talk things through and set things straight.

* * *

He was relieved when, that day, Alex seemed not exactly in a good mood, but more mellow than she had been in a while. However, they were both so busy that day that he never got the chance to ask her to join him for a drink. He didn't want to ask her in front of the whole office in case she shot him down in flames. Also, he decided that asking her in private would be better because he could maybe let his guard down slightly and pocket his pride and show her he was serious.

Oh well. He'd collar her tonight in Luigi's. Most nights, she would come and sit with Shaz. However, she didn't that evening. She just walked straight up to her flat, head bowed.

Gene left it half an hour and then, for the first time in about seven months, climbed the stairs to her flat. He hesitated for a second or two before knocking firmly on the door.

Alex opened the door and looked slightly surprised to see him. She was still wearing the clothes she had worn during the day, the only differences being the stilettos had been replaced by soft, woolly socks, her face was scrubbed bare of makeup and her sleeves were rolled up to just below the elbow.

"Hello," she said, looking at him with a suspicious frown, a slightly questioning tone in her voice.

"Can we talk?" he asked, deadly serious. She didn't respond for a while, trying to gauge his mood and whether he was winding her up or not.

"Yeah. Come in," she sighed eventually, looking a little relieved and her face softening a bit as she stepped aside to let him in. "Do you want a drink?" she asked, trying to fill the awkward silence.

"What you got?"

"Whiskey, red, tea, coffee..."

"Cuppa tea's fine," he said. She quirked her lips at him for the first time in months. "What?" he asked.

"I had money on you going for whiskey," she said. She went into the kitchen and filled the kettle with water, finding two mugs. "What did you want to talk about?" she asked whilst they were waiting for the water to boil.

"Us."

She nodded and finished making the tea. She handed him a mug, remembering exactly how many sugars he liked and they went and sat on the sofa, at either end, as far away as possible from each other, not in the middle together like they used to do.

"I've missed you," Alex said quietly, staring into her mug.

"You see me pretty much every day," he replied.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. I've missed you too."

Alex looked up and, for the first time in ages, gave him a small smile. This sight alone made Gene feel a little less burdened.

"Uh, Bolly," Gene began, surprising himself. When was the last time he had called her _Bolly_ to her face? "I realised something this morning. I realised that I'm losing you and, to be honest, that scared the shit out of me. I lost Sam, but I didn't really have any control over that, but with you, I do. I don't want to lose you," he admitted, raw emotion in his voice and glad that no one but her was around to hear his confession.

Alex tried to hold back the tears. Dear God, she tried, biting her tongue, blinking, looking up, but nothing worked. He had really struck a nerve and made her realise how she felt the same. She didn't want to lose him. The tears came.

"Gene," she sobbed, "I don't want to l-lose you either. Y-you're the only p-person I can trust and I've missed you so, so much these past few months and...and I just want us to go back to how we used to be."

Gene's heart broke at the sight of her, sitting there, crying her eyes out. Their strained relations had obviously stressed her out as much as they had him, maybe more.

"Come here," he said gently, scooting over to her side of the sofa and wrapping his arms around her as she cried. "I want us to go back to the way we were too," he whispered to her.

They stayed like that for ages, Alex eventually returning Gene's embrace as she began to stop crying, eventually only sniffing gently. The lamp on the table in the corner of the room gave the space a warm glow. Alex felt so comforted being in Gene's arms. It was a long, long time since she had been physically this close to him and she didn't realise until now just how much she had yearned for his comforting, familiar smell, his warmth and the reassuring thud of his heart. She had missed how solid and reassuring his presence was.

Gene, now he was here, was massively relieved, especially as Alex had slid her arms around his waist a few minutes ago. Her hair tickled his nose and the very faint smell of the fruity perfume she wore drifted up his nostrils for the first time in months and it just felt so right holding her here. He really had missed her. He couldn't believe how much of a bastard he had been towards her.

Gene thought Alex had gone to sleep, but just as he was considering putting her to bed, she spoke.

"Thank you for coming up tonight. I just needed a few hours to forget, and you've helped me and I also got you back along the way." She sat up slightly so she was looking at him. "Are we ok?" she asked.

"Yes. We are," he replied. She gazed deeply into his eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered. He cupped her face in his hand, lightly brushing her cheek with his thumb.

Neither was sure who made the first move. However, their lips met in a deep, slow kiss. It quickly became more intense and heated; their hands started wandering over each other's bodies.

Alex's hands slid under Gene's jacket, pushing it off his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. She quickly pulled off his tie and, with shaking hands she set to work on his shirt buttons. Gene tugged at Alex's blouse, untucking it from her jeans. His hands moved under the top, trailing up her ribcage and round to her back, where he unhooked her bra. Becoming frustrated, he returned his concentration to the front of her blouse and clawed at the buttons.

Their kisses turned to hot, open mouthed brushes of the lips. Alex felt completely dizzy with pleasure and lust as he began to trail kisses down her neck occasionally stopping to bite gently on the flesh.

"Gene," she gasped, "bedroom. Now."

Gene stood up, pulling her with him and continuing to kiss her neck. He finally won the battle with the buttons and pushed the blouse off her shoulders and threw it, along with her bra, onto the floor. He kissed across her newly exposed shoulder and collarbone and went to dip his head lower, but Alex knew if he did, she would lose all her self control and they would end up having sex on the floor or the sofa, which wasn't what she wanted. Using all her willpower, she pulled his head back up and kissed his lips and began pushing him towards the bedroom door. They stumbled inside, tripping over each other, and landed on the bed. She finished undoing the remaining buttons on his shirt and tugged it off him, kissing the bare skin. She vaguely registered him undoing her jeans and tugging them down her legs, but by this point, she felt so alive; her senses were so overwhelmed, she couldn't be too sure what was happening. It was like she had no control over her body. She felt her hand move to his trousers and impatiently pull them off him. She felt his mouth kissing and caressing her in places it really probably shouldn't and she heard herself moaning and crying out in pleasure.

Then, it was happening. What had been building between them; what she had thought would never happen since...no. Don't think about Edward. Focus on the amazing things Gene was doing to her.

She heard and felt herself getting more and more desperate, digging her fingernails into his shoulders and hooking a leg around him, trying to draw him closer. Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and she screamed his name in ecstasy as she lost the little control she had left over her body. Gene wasn't far behind her, crying out her name and collapsing on top of her as they both regained their breath.

They stayed like that for a while, neither able to fully comprehend what had just happened. After a while, Gene realised he was still on top of Alex and, although she didn't seem to mind too much him being there, rolled off her. Having felt her heart resume its normal pace, Alex leant out of bed and pulled the duvet off the floor. She dragged it further onto the bed and they pulled it over themselves. They both shuffled towards the middle of the bed and Gene pulled her into his arms and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. She rested her head on his chest, threw an arm round his waist and closed her eyes, smiling happily.

"Alex..." he whispered.

"I know," she whispered back, gently kissing his jaw. The scene reminded them both of being in a hot, stuffy vault, both convinced they were about to die. "I missed you," she said softly.

"I missed you too," he replied, kissing the crown of her head and listening to her breathing becoming soft and even.

* * *

The next morning, Gene woke feeling better than he had done in months. He leant his head back on the pillow and his mind wandered to the events of last night. He'd finally done it. He'd built bridges with Bolly. He had her back. They were friends again and, on top of that, he had not just _the_ best shag of his lifetime, but the _two _best shags of his lifetime, after he had woken Alex up at about two in the morning. He looked at Alex and saw she was awake and staring at the ceiling, worry lines etched into her forehead.

"Mornin' Bols," he said sleepily, pulling her closer to him.

"Morning," she replied. She tried to smile, but the worry lines didn't quite leave her forehead.

"Alright?"

"Yeah. Never been better," she said, kissing his mouth. "Breakfast?"

"If yer offerin'," he grinned.

"Come on then," she said, getting out of bed. As she pulled on her dressing gown, Gene, in admiring her fabulous figure, noticed something on her arm.

"Bols, what happened to your arm?" he asked, indicating to the bruises that he must have missed last night in the flurry of passion.

"Oh," she said, looking down at them. "Nothing. I twisted my ankle and landed on my arm the other day," she explained, covering her arm with the sleeve of her dressing gown.

"What have I told you about sensible shoes?" he asked her, mock stern.

"Sorry, Guv," she smiled cheekily, disappearing out the room and into the kitchen.

Gene smiled lazily and stretched, opting to lie in bed a few minutes longer. He couldn't believe his luck. He couldn't believe he finally had Alex back. However, he wondered where he now stood with her. As far as he knew, she was still seeing that Edward tosser. Surely she wouldn't; couldn't choose to have two blokes on the go at the same time? Surely if she did that, it would only end in tears? He decided to ask her about it. He slipped out of bed and pulled on his trousers and shirt and went into the kitchen.

What he saw there made his blood run cold.

Alex was sat at the table, quietly sobbing, her lovely face all tearstained. He was beside her in a flash, pulling her into his arms.

"Bolly, what's wrong?" he asked, holding her close.

Gene's concern just made Alex's guilt worse and made her cry harder. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself.

"Gene," she said sadly, "first off, you must, must, _must _know that I do not regret a single thing about last night."

"Good. Nor do I," he replied, but feeling that there was bad news on the horizon.

"I don't regret it at all. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again if I could."

"What's stopping you then?"

"Well, technically, last night I cheated on Edward," she said, another tear trickling from her eye as the realisation really hit home.

"So? You don't have to stay with him," Gene said. He knew he was acting like a jealous, selfish prick and being very unfair towards Alex, but he couldn't help it.

"The thing is I do, Gene. I do," she sobbed. "I-I'm engaged to him," she cried.

The news hit Gene like a ton of bricks. His blood ran cold again for the second time in two minutes. He felt sick.

"Wh...When?" was all he could manage.

"H-he proposed on Sa-Saturday."

"Oh, Alex," Gene said quietly. He let go of her, went to the bedroom and picked up the rest of his clothes and then went and grabbed his coat and jacket from the sitting room. He looked over at Alex.

"Please don't do this," she whispered. There was something more than pleading to her tone and in her eyes. Was it...No. That was silly. He didn't stay to interpret it. He just shook his head at her, went to the door, opened it and heard it click shut behind him as he walked down the stairs and onto the street.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUNNNN! Just as they got each other back, they go and lose each other again :(**

**Good news, people! You can now find me on Tumblr: (Just in case the link doesn't show up/work, my Tumblr name is x-ninety-nine-red-balloons-x )**

**Just so you know, the meal with Gene is still up for grabs if you can tell me the link between the chapter names and the title...**

**Please review and thanks for reading!**

**xxx**


	4. Chapter Three: Goodbye

**Greetings :) I bring you chapter three! I'm so surprised by the response I've had to this fic...People _like _it! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed-You're all awesome and it makes my day! :D**

**One person has correctly guessed the link and won dinner with Gene...The next person to correctly tell me the link gets a ride in the Quattro.**

**Anyway, on with the chapter. As usual, me no own Ashes to Ashes or the recognisable characters used. Chapter is un-Beta-d. Enjoy!**

* * *

The next few days between Gene and Alex weren't exactly awkward, but they were strained. Gene pined after Alex though. He just wanted to pull her into his arms and know that this would resolve everything; make everything ok. He knew it couldn't happen though. They were polite towards one another and the team could tell something significant had happened between them, but not what.

Gene's heart sank that little bit further when, four days after they had spent the night together, she turned up to work with a diamond ring on the third finger of her left hand. After the initial fuss (mainly from Shaz) over the piece of jewellery, she kept staring sadly at it and Gene noticed by the afternoon that she had twisted the ring around so the diamond wasn't on display. She looked pretty off for that whole day.

However, that evening, she still made the effort to go to Luigi's and they both sat with CID, although at opposite ends of the table. Shaz asked for the millionth time that day to see Alex's ring so she had to swivel it so the diamond was showing again. Gene studied it in closer detail. The stone was huge and seemed to swamp her hand. It was obviously brand new, modern and very expensive but it didn't suit her, even though she was very much a modern girl and, in his opinion, worth every penny. He thought if he was going to choose a ring for her, he would go for something a little older. Maybe a ruby because red was her favourite colour and she looked so damn good in it. Or maybe an opal. He knew they were considered unlucky, but they reminded him so much of her; the way they caught the light and shone in so many different colours, like a beautiful mystery; an enigma. Exactly like Alex.

He shook himself out of his fantasy. What the hell was he doing thinking about engagement rings? Number one, it was too late. He had lost Alex and she was marrying her wealthy businessman. Number two, he was Gene Hunt. He didn't do poofy things like jewellery shopping. Well, maybe he'd make an exception for her. But obviously it was too late.

Gene's eye was suddenly drawn to a presence in the doorway. Edward Lichfield stood there, scanning the crowd. Upon spotting where Alex was sitting, he walked briskly over to her.

"There you are," he said, possessively wrapping an arm around her waist and pecking her cheek. "I was wondering where you were. I thought we agreed that I would pick you up straight from work?"

"Sorry," Alex said quickly. "I, er, was just telling everyone our news. Celebrating."

"Oh yeah? And you couldn't have done that at work?" he said, sounding annoyed.

"Er, no, because we were _working," _replied Alex, almost like a defiant teenager. Edward bent and whispered something in her ear, a stony expression on his face. An odd expression crossed Alex's face but Gene couldn't read it because she composed herself quickly.

"Come on, Alex," Edward said, almost patronisingly, looking a bit more relaxed. "Let's go." Alex, seemingly reluctantly, rose from her seat.

"Ok. See you tomorrow, everyone."

"Yeah, bye, Ma'am," replied Shaz, as the rest said their farewells. Alex looked over at Gene and flashed him a quick smile. There was that expression again but this time in her eyes, but again, it was gone to quickly for him to read. He twitched his lips slightly at her as Edward grabbed her hand and pulled her from the restaurant.

* * *

"DRAKE!" Gene yelled from his doorway. "In here, _now!"_ With the whole of CID watching, Alex got up slowly from her chair, nervously fiddling with her engagement ring. She knew exactly what Gene wanted to see her about. She knew he was never going to take the news lightly.

"What the _hell _is this?" he demanded, slapping a piece of paper on the desk between them as soon as she had shut the door. Alex looked at the paper and then at Gene. She found she couldn't focus on either without feeling immensely guilty or like she wanted to cry. She settled for looking at her feet.

"It's my letter of resignation," she said quietly, suddenly very interested in a small scuff on her white leather boot.

"Yeah, thanks, Mrs State-the-Bloody-Obvious. I know what it is. I meant what's it doing here? Why is it sitting on my desk? Have you lost your mind?"

"No. I-I'm definitely resigning," she said, biting her lip.

"Why?" Alex was silent. Gene sighed. "Alex," he said, more gently this time. "Is it because of what happened between us last week?" Alex looked up from her feet and directly at him, a look of shock on her face.

"No. No, no, no," she said surely. "I've told you, I don't regret that at all."

"What is it then? I don't understand, Bols. You're a bloody brilliant copper. You're a pain in the arse at times but you get on well with the team, your psychiatry rubbish is actually damn useful sometimes and you seem to enjoy your job. What's making you leave?" he asked, walking round the desk so he could face her. She closed her eyes and swallowed, obviously trying not to burst into tears. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes and spoke.

"I'm moving out to California with Edward," she said quietly, looking at him and feeling horrible as a whole torrent of emotions crossed his face at the same time.

"You...What? To live? For good?" His brain couldn't process this. He felt sick as Alex nodded.

"Yes," she whispered. If Gene had felt he had hit rock bottom when he found out Alex was engaged, then this was like the bottom had fallen out the Earth. She was moving over five thousand miles away. Away from him; his life. She was going.

"Why?"

"Edward, he's based over there, his contacts, his customers, his family. It's more convenient. It's what he wants."

"What about you? What about _your_ family? Is that what _you _want?" Alex was silent for a while. She seemed to be struggling with something.

"I...I don't have any family left, so it doesn't matter." Another long pause. "Yes," she said, "it is what I want."

"You had to think about that, Alex. An answer to that sort of question should be instantaneous." Alex sighed.

"No. No, I don't want to move over there, Gene. I want to stay in London, but I have no choice. When you...When you love someone, it sometimes means making compromises," she said.

"But do you love him?" Gene asked. Alex was silent again. "Alex, do you love him?"

"No," she said, her voice wavering dangerously.

"Then why are you marrying him; moving away if you don't love him? Or are you just gold digging?"

"No!" she protested indignantly. "You know I wouldn't do that and you know that if I had a choice, I'd stay here, in the place that I love, doing _what_ I love!"

"Well, stay then."

"I can't, Gene. I've got no other choice. I have to go. I-" she stopped talking and swallowed. "I leave in four weeks," she said quietly. Gene felt as if a knife had been twisted in his guts. Four weeks. Twenty eight days. Six hundred and seventy two hours. Ouch.

Composing himself, Gene channelled his hurt the only way he knew how to.

"Well, DI Drake," he said coldly; professionally, moving to sit back behind his desk, "that should be fine as long as you work out your notice," he continued, pulling her letter back towards him and not even looking at her.

"Gene, please..." she sounded like she was about to cry.

"Make sure you shut the door on your way out, Inspector." He still didn't look up at her. He listened to her soft, defeated footfalls on the carpet, heard the door open and then click shut again.

Why did that noise sound so final and damning to him?

* * *

The next four weeks passed far too quickly for Gene's liking. In that time, he told himself he would make up with Alex, apologise for being such a bastard that day in his office. He thought, maybe, he could stop her from leaving, persuade her to stay.

However, he never did. By the time he had plucked up the courage to speak to her and swallowed his pride, it was her last day in CID and her leaving do at Luigi's. He couldn't bring himself to attend.

Alex walked into Luigi's. She had just completed her final day as a Detective Inspector in London's Metropolitan Police. And that thought made her want to cry.

And cry she did as the evening progressed. She cried when Ray gave a speech saying how much she would be missed and what a valuable asset she had been to the team. "Now hurry up and get yer arse over to America so I can have yer bloody job!" he finished, grinning at her. Through her tears, Alex giggled.

She cried when Chris said he would miss her and thanked her for everything she had done to help him, both personally and career wise, before handing her a glass of champagne.

She cried when Shaz pulled her into a massive hug, causing drunken wolf whistles and comments about 'lesbo action'. God, she was going to miss this group of people.

She also spent a lot of the evening scanning the room. Where was he? Why wasn't he here? She knew their relationship had been strained since she dropped the bombshell about her engagement and leaving but surely he would come and see her off? Obviously not.

"Go and find him, Ma'am," Shaz whispered in her ear.

"Shaz, I think he's trying to tell me something by not turning up."

"If you don't, you'll only regret it when you're half way across the Atlantic."

Alex smiled at Shaz. She was right. She spent a while saying her goodbyes. She knew she was unlikely to ever see any of these amazing people again. Her eyes burned at this thought as she walked back across to the station.

* * *

Gene was sat in his office, the only light coming from the desk lamp. He held in his hand a glass of whiskey, although he made no attempt to drink it. His other hand supported his head as he stared at one point on his desk, deep in thought. He knew he should be over at Luigi's, seeing off one of the finest officers he had ever worked with, and he knew he would regret it when she was half way across the Atlantic, but he couldn't bring himself to go. If he went, it meant he would have to acknowledge the fact that she was actually leaving and that would pretty much be the end of him. He had grown so fond of her over the time he had known her, he cared deeply for her, he had spent the best night of his life with her.

At the same time, he was furious with her. Why was she being so bloody enigmatic about the whole leaving thing? What did she mean she had no other choice? Why was she going if she didn't want to; why was she marrying Lichfield if she didn't want to? He thought they trusted each other. So many questions. How was it possible for everything to go to shit in the space of a few months?

His thoughts were shattered by the sound of his office door opening tentatively. He knew exactly who it was.

"Shouldn't you be at Luigi's gettin' pissed?" he asked miserably, not looking up.

"It's not the same without you there," Alex replied in a thin, wavery voice.

"Why are you going, Alex?" he asked quietly, looking up at her.

"Because I have no other choice," she whispered.

"Why are you being so bloody evasive about the whole thing?" he asked suddenly, getting up and going to stand in front of her.

"I'm not," she said, still in that same quiet, timid voice that just didn't match _her_.

"Yes, you are," he shouted, holding her arms by her side and giving her a small shake.

"Please, Gene, don't be like this," she was nearly crying now. "I missed you in Luigi's," she continued. She wiggled out of his grasp and took his right hand in her left one. He felt the cool strip of metal around her finger burn his skin. However, he didn't snatch his hand back; he just flinched slightly, much to Alex's relief. "It didn't feel right you not being there, so I've come to say goodbye." A single tear spilled from her eye. Gene didn't say anything. He just stared at their interlinked hands. "I just want you to know that I honestly don't regret that night. I didn't then, I don't now and I won't tomorrow. If I had a choice, I'd stay here with you. You know I would. I'm going to miss you so much," she confessed, her voice cracking as more tears streamed down her face.

Gene thought about what she had just said. He felt the same. He felt exactly the same. He knew all he had to do was open his mouth and tell her; beg her to stay, but he couldn't.

"You should just go," he said coldly. _Bastard._

"Gene, I don't want to leave us like this. I don't want us to part on bad terms."

"Go," he said again, a little louder. Alex sighed sadly and squeezed his hand, letting it drop.

"Just know that I'll miss you more than anything," she said. Gene, feeling like the world's biggest bastard said nothing and sat back at his desk.

"Goodbye, Alex," he said sharply, refusing to look at her.

Alex felt as if someone had plunged a knife into her heart as she turned and walked away from Gene for the last time. When she was half way across the main office, Edward appeared.

"There you are," he glared at her. "I told you to wait at Luigi's for me to pick you up."

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I...just had to say goodbye."

"Come on, we've got an early start tomorrow," he said, taking her hand and leading her towards the door. Alex twisted and looked back at Gene. He looked at her, his face betraying nothing. In the dim light of the room, he couldn't read that expression that had crept onto her face again and this time, stayed there. In the dim light of the room, Alex couldn't see the extra shine to his eyes as she walked away from him.

* * *

At nine minutes past seven the next morning, Alex Drake, feeling strangely drowsy, boarded a flight with her fiancé headed for California. At seven thirty seven that same morning, Gene Hunt looked out his kitchen window and saw an aeroplane flying overhead. He wondered if she was on it.

At seven thirty eight that morning, Gene Hunt suddenly realised. He was unconditionally in love with Alex Drake.

* * *

***GASP* Sorry guys :o**

**Oh, I do have to say, foreshadowing is a wonderful thing and there is a heck of a lot of it in this chapter...**

**Just a reminder, you can now find me on Tumblr-I am x-ninety-nine-red-balloons-x**

**Please leave me a review...As I said before, they really make my day! Thanks so much for reading!**

**xxx**


	5. Chapter Four: Wish You Were Here

**Hi everyone! I'm in an insanely good mood because I passed my driving test this morning! So, I thought whilst I was in a good mood, I'd treat you all to the next chapter! However, the tone of this update doesn't really match my mood...I kind of freaked my self out writing this!**

**I don't own Ashes to Ashes/any recognisable characters and the chapter is un-Beta-d.**

**Please remember that the 'M' rating of this fic IS THERE FOR A REASON before you read on.**

**Please drop me a review when you're done! Enjoy!**

* * *

The sleek black car with the beige leather interior and blacked out windows turned right off the winding cliff top road and stopped at a pair of tall, imposing black gates, similar to the other sets they had passed on the road. In her tired, sleepy, fuggy haze, Alex tried not to think about how they reminded her of prison bars. The driver rolled down the window and flashed his ID card at the guard sitting in the security tower who grunted, clamped his cigarette between his thin lips and pushed a button to open the gates. The car began to wander slowly up a long, twisty driveway, flanked by shrubs and palm trees. Alex craned her neck to get a better look at the mansion that was rising into view. It was all massive glass windows and white facade.

"Welcome home, Alex," Edward said, gripping her hand. Alex didn't miss the underlying threat in his voice.

"What did you put in my drink this morning?" she asked, ignoring his statement.

"Oh, just something to make you feel a bit sleepy," he replied matter of factly.

"A sedative."

"I needed to guarantee you weren't going to run," Edward explained. He saw the look on her face. "Trust me, Sweetheart, it's in your best interests," he said, kissing her lips. Alex turned away from him as the car crunched onto the gravel driveway outside the house. "Come on. I'll show you round."

Alex reluctantly got out the car and followed Edward up the steps to the main entrance. They stepped out of the hot mid morning Californian sun and into the cool marble entrance hall. Their luggage neatly stood, waiting for them. "The staff will take care of it," Edward told her.

He spent about half an hour showing Alex around the many bathrooms, the 'snugs', sitting room, dining rooms, kitchens, indoor pool, outdoor pool, sun terrace, veranda, games room, gardens, tennis courts, guest rooms...

"This is our bedroom," he said smiling at Alex as he opened the door of the room he had saved for last. Again, that threatening undercurrent was in his voice.

Alex stepped into the bedroom. It was light and airy with a thick cream carpet that was beautifully soft and tickled her feet. There was a four poster bed draped with white, gauzy curtains and a white bedspread. There was a massive walk in wardrobe on one side of the room, a dressing table with a dressing room style mirror, a full length mirror stood in the corner and a large chest of drawers. Two large windows flanked by thin curtains offered a view over the outdoor pool and the emerald green lawns and on the other side of the room there was a set of sliding doors that led out onto the balcony. The balcony itself looked out over the cliffs and the sparkling blue ocean. Alex could see the yellow banana of sand a few miles away that was the beach in Carmel and the sea was sprinkled with surfers. The sky was azure blue and the sun shone like a golden disc in the sky. It should have been perfect. It wasn't.

Alex's eyes pricked with tears as she thought of London; home; Gene. A tear spilled out of the corner of her eye.

"What's wrong?" asked Edward, not sounding particularly concerned.

"Nothing."

"Tell me," he said, grabbing her wrist as she turned to walk back inside. Alex sighed.

"I was just thinking of...home."

"This _is _home, Alex," he told her in a menacing voice.

"No it's not," she said, her voice cracking.

"You're thinking of him, aren't you? _Aren't you?" _he growled, shaking her aggressively. Alex didn't say anything. Edward pushed her back into the bedroom, slid the door shut and locked it. "I told you not to think of him; of _any_ of them," Lichfield continued in a dangerous voice.

"You can't tell me what to _think_," Alex spat. Edward's face contorted with fury. Alex felt the sting and saw the stars that she knew all too well that confirmed she had just been slapped. More tears sprang to her eyes. "Don't you _dare _cry," Edward hissed, pushing her onto the bed and hitching her flimsy summer dress up round her waist. _Oh God. Please, no, not again!_

"Edward, please! Don't!" she begged.

"Shut up," he shouted, slapping her again. He grasped her left hand in his and forced her hand into a fist. He brought her fist up to her neck and dug the huge diamond on her engagement ring into the flesh just below her ear. Alex felt sick. She couldn't breathe. The diamond was hurting her. "You're _mine," _he snarled, pulling his trousers down.

"Edward, please, stop!"

He responded by positioning himself over her and covering her nose and mouth with his hands as he began to thrust into her. Tears trickled down Alex's face. She really should be used to this by now. It had happened countless numbers of times in the last six months. She was desperately trying to get some air into her lungs but Edward's hands were stopping her from doing so. His painful thrusts were really hurting her. Her ears rang. She felt dizzy and lightheaded. Her vision prickled in front of her. She started to panic, using up what precious little oxygen was left in her body. Her vision was now beginning to go blotchy and black. She had to breathe soon.

Edward gave a grim smile as he saw that Alex was about to pass out. He removed his hand from her nose but kept the other over her mouth so she wouldn't shout or scream. Not that anyone would be able to hear her. The neighbours lived a mile down the road and the staff knew better than to question. He looked down at her beautiful face, contorted with pain and streaked with tears. He saw that the diamond had left an angry red mark on her neck that would probably bruise. Her chest was heaving as she finally managed to breathe again. He nearly felt sorry for her; he had only meant to do this to her once, all those months back, just to show her she couldn't mess him around, but the power surge it gave him to do it was incredible so he had carried on. He noticed she had squeezed her eyes shut, obviously trying to block out what was happening and he nearly took pity on her. But then he remembered. She was going to be his wife soon. She needed to learn to listen to him; obey him and if this was the only way to make her realise that, then so be it.

Finally, he tipped over the edge and cried out in pleasure, collapsing on top of her, pinning her to the bed. He lay there for a while, getting his breath back and listening to Alex's muffled sobs. He eventually got off her, stood and pulled his trousers back on. Alex sat up, sat on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands.

"You're pathetic," he spat, slapping the back of her head before flouncing from the room, calling back over his shoulder, "I've got work to do. I'll see you out on the terrace for lunch at one o'clock. Don't be late."

Alex didn't reply but heard the bedroom door slam shut. She sat where she was for a while, crying. She missed London. She missed her tiny flat above Luigi's which was always too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer. She missed Ray. She missed Chris. She missed Shaz. She missed Luigi. Most of all, she missed Gene. She thought about how cold and distant he had been when she had said goodbye to him and cried harder. He had every right to be angry with her. She was disgusted with herself. How on Earth had she just walked in to an abusive relationship? She had been with Edward for eight months. The first two months had been fantastic but the past six months had been hellish. She had been hit, raped, starved, suffocated and shouted at. That was the main reason she hadn't moved into the flat Edward had brought in London after he had moved out of the Ritz. Whenever she stayed with him, that's what happened.

However, she couldn't do anything now. By agreeing (after much coercion) to move out to Carmel with Edward, she had resigned herself to her fate. She was going to be miserable for the rest of her life. Oh, how she wished she had told Gene the truth. How she wished she had gone to him the very first time Edward had punched her lights out. Maybe he could have helped her. Too late now.

Sighing, Alex wiped her tears away just as there was a knock at the door. Taking a deep breath, Alex crossed the room and opened it. A tall, middle aged, curvy, bossy looking woman stood there. She had greying brown hair swept out of her eyes, which were honest and blue.

"Good morning, Miss Drake," she said. Her accent was much broader than Edward's. "I'm Meghan Whittaker, the housekeeper. Mr Lichfield asked me to bring your stuff up."

"Thank you," Alex said tiredly as Meghan eyed her with suspicion. Alex could tell she was fighting the urge to question her about her red, watery eyes and tearstained face.

Alex's luggage was dragged into the room and then she was left alone again. She heaved one of her bags onto the bed and unzipped it. She pulled out her wash bag and went into the massive en suite bathroom. Light spilled in through the huge frosted window and bathed everything in golden west coast sunlight. She looked around her. The huge bath tub was almost the size of her double bed back home. There was another dressing table in here and a large shower. The sink was so big she could probably have sat in it.

She undressed and let the shower run for a bit before remembering she wasn't at home in her London flat so she didn't need to wait an age for the hot water to kick in. She stepped under the warm jets and spent twenty minutes or so washing away the journey and the feel of Edward all over her. The water helped soothe her frazzled mind and helped her think a bit straighter. When she was done, she wrapped herself in a big fluffy white towel and dried her hair. She pulled on a clean pale yellow dress and shoved the blue one she had been wearing into the laundry basket that stood at the end of the bed.

Now that she had tidied herself up a bit, she felt a little more human. She checked the bedside clock. It read ten to one. She should probably go and meet Edward outside for lunch. She didn't want to, but she didn't know when the next time he'd let her eat would be. With a heavy heart, Alex slipped on a pair of flip flops, located her sunglasses and went downstairs to find her fiancé.

* * *

Gene sat in Luigi's by himself at the table he had shared so many times with Alex. The team were sat at the next table along. They were well into the swing of their usual post-work routine of drinking, chatting and drunken shenanigans, but there was something different about them. They had all been affected by Bolly's departure.

Today had been the first day in the office without her and it had been damn strange. And rather lonely. He had kept looking up from what he was doing to glance over at Alex's desk, only to find it was now empty; devoid of emotion and her usual clutter and now only displayed a pen pot, a stapler, a notebook which still contained her doodles and scribblings and some forms someone had dumped on there. On one occasion, he had even gone to stand in his office doorway to yell at her to come and psychiatrically...psychologically? interpret a witness statement for him before remembering she wasn't there and wouldn't come to him. She was gone.

Now, Gene sat drinking cheap red wine, wishing she was here to share it with him. He had missed doing that; even when she was still here and their relationship had been rocky for all those months.

Truth be told, he was really worried about her. Gene was a natural copper-once his guts told him something; once he had a hunch about something, it wouldn't go away until he investigated it and nine times out of ten, he was right-and right now, his guts were telling him Alex was in some sort of trouble; she wasn't happy. It was the same feeling he got when she got herself locked in that freezer, it was the same feeling he got when she was kidnapped and drugged, it was the same feeling he got that time she was being held at gunpoint by some nutter. Something just wasn't right about the whole situation. He had noticed her relationship with Lichfield was odd. He had seen them together a few times right at the start of the relationship when she had been perfectly happy to kiss him in public and cuddle up to him, but, especially in the last few months, Gene had noticed Alex hadn't been particularly enthusiastic about the relationship. Then, there was the whole _'I don't have a choice' _situation, her not wanting to marry him despite accepting his proposal and then moving away with him even though she didn't want to. And the fact that she had admitted that she didn't actually love him. If all this was true, why hadn't Alex ended the relationship?

Gene knew this hunch he had about Alex not being happy was going to have to remain uninvestigated. He knew she was in a place called Carmel in California, but he had no idea _where _in California that was or whether it was a town or a city...Trying to find her could be like searching for a needle in a haystack. For once, he was praying that this was the one time out of ten that his guts were wrong.

Gene sighed. He had had enough. He got up, said his goodbyes and then headed home to his small, lonely flat to brood in private. He tried telling himself that she probably loved her life Stateside with her smarmy boyfriend and wasn't even thinking of him or London. However, her final words to him rang in his head:

"_Just know that I'll miss you more than anything."_

He knew, deep down, he was wrong.

* * *

**I'm horrible, I know. Poor Alex :'(**

**Thanks so much for reading and please drop me a review...I know lots of people are going to be shouting at me now! :p**

**Just so you know, a second person has correctly guessed the connection...If you're still intereted and you can guess what it is, let me know! Also, a reminder that you can now find me on Tumblr- x-ninety-nine-red-balloons-x**

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**xxx**


	6. Chapter Five: Runaway

**Well, here I am again with a new update. I've been so overwhelmed with the response to this story, thank you to everyone who is reading, especially those of you who have left me lovely reviews!**

**Please drop me a review when you're done reading! :)**

* * *

Four weeks. It had been four weeks since she had moved to California and he had only let her out the house three times.

Alex sighed and looked in her dressing table mirror. Her skin was just as pale as it had been when she had left London. There was no hint of a suntan. The furthest she was allowed to stray from the house at will was the balcony of the bedroom and even then, he was usually stood behind her. The times she had been allowed out had, in the short term, been a blessed relief, even though he had been with her. The first time had been to the Carmel Mission to take Holy Communion and to 'cleanse her soul'. The second had been to a restaurant on the outskirts of Carmel to 'celebrate their engagement', although the evening had ended much like Alex's first morning in the house-Edward taking what he wanted from her whilst she tried to hold back the floods of tears of desperation. The third time had been to a small boutique where he had persuaded her to choose a wedding dress. She had refused and had been punished again when they got back to the house.

Tears brimmed in her eyes as she thought about how shit her life had become in less than a year. Her body was covered in bruises, she was virtually under house arrest and the last time she had actually given consent for him to have sex with her was over seven months ago. Her stomach growled. When was the last time he had let her eat? It must be at least two, maybe three, days by now; the day she had refused to pick out a dress. She took a sip of water from the bottle sat on her dressing table and hoped that would satisfy her grumbling tummy, even if for just a few minutes.

Alex held her head in her hands and cursed the day she had entered that wine bar with Gene and set eyes on Edward Lichfield. She cursed the day she had picked up her phone and dialled his number. She cursed the day she had let him take her to bed.

She looked up as she heard the door opening. She looked in the mirror and saw Edward approaching her, his blonde hair enviably streaked by the beautiful Californian sun and the tiniest trace of sunburn glowing on the bridge of his nose. Alex looked like a ghost in contrast.

"Hey," he murmured, bending down to her level and kissing her neck. She didn't respond. The simple action used to send electric bolts up and down her spine and leave her skin tingling, but it did nothing for her now. He gathered her hair in his hands and twisted it into a rope, pulling it away from her neck and stroking the bruises left there by his hands.

"Why won't you let me out the house, Edward?" she eventually asked.

"Oh, Sweetheart," he said, hugging her from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder. "It's not that I don't _want _to let you out the house. It's just there's so much...corruption out there. So much that could tear you away from me." Alex snorted.

"Edward, it's a touristy, historic seaside town. What is out there that could 'corrupt' me?" she asked, making air quotes with her fingers.

"You'd be surprised," he told her, stroking her hair. "Also, I think you're still a bit homesick. You'll settle in soon enough, I promise." Alex shuddered slightly. He was being perfectly calm and placid towards her right now, but she knew he could flip any minute. Anything could cause him to. If she wasn't so afraid for herself, the psychologist in her would have been fascinated by his tyrannical, arbitrary behaviour. "I brought you something," he continued, reaching into the pocket of his loose, linen shorts that showed off his tanned legs. He pulled out something wrapped in a napkin and placed it on the dressing table in front of her. Alex peeled back the napkin.

"Strawberry cheesecake," she stated.

"Yeah. We ate it on our first date, remember?" Alex did remember, all too clearly, the first date she had been cursing just moments ago. "I thought you might be hungry. You haven't eaten in a while," he said, making out like it was her own choice.

"Mmm. Maybe I'll have it later," she said flatly, pushing the slice of cake away. She didn't want to give in and show him how weak he had made her despite the fact she was so hungry she could have devoured the slice of cheesecake whole.

"I actually came to tell you something," he said, pulling her gently off the stool and turning her so she was facing him. "I'm going away for a bit. Only one night; just down to the Pebble Beach Resort. I'm meeting a business partner from New York there. Normally, I would bring him back to stay here, but you're still getting settled in..." He sighed.

"_More like you don't want anyone to know you're keeping me prisoner here," _she thought sourly.

"This is a major deal, I've got a lot riding on it," he continued. "Once it's all signed and sealed though, we can start planning our wedding properly," he murmured, backing her against the wall and kissing her. Alex was saddened by this thought. A wedding should be a joyous occasion between two people madly in love, in front of their nearest and dearest. Alex wasn't in love with Edward and her nearest and dearest weren't in California. She had been banned from even thinking about them, but that didn't stop her doing so. "Maybe," he continued, "I can take you wedding dress shopping again..."

Alex stiffened at the thought. Buying the dress made it all seem so..._final._

"Maybe," she mumbled.

"Alex," growled Edward, his voice cold. There it was. The switch had been flipped. "This wedding _will _go ahead, you understand."

She took a deep breath, summoning all her strength.

"Piss off," she spat. She knew this was bound to have repercussions, but it had felt so damn good saying it to him, she had finally felt alive again, just in that small fraction of a second.

"Right," Edward hissed. He grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulled her head back and smacked it against the wall. Alex cried out in pain. She felt dazed and sick. He dragged her across the room and pushed her onto the bed. "You can scream and cry as loud as you like, Alex. No one can hear you. No one is going to come and rescue you," he growled. Alex closed her eyes, fought back the tears and tried to find her state of apathy as he punished her for what she had just said to him.

Afterwards, when he had got his breath back, Edward climbed off Alex and the bed.

"I have to leave in fifteen minutes," he explained as he pulled his trousers back on. "I'll be back by about seven tomorrow evening. I'll have the cook make you something for dinner. Don't try and leave the house whilst I'm gone," he ordered. He didn't need to threaten her. She knew perfectly well what would happen if she disobeyed him.

She also knew, as she curled up on a ball on the bed and finally let out her heart wrenching sobs, that she was going to escape this oppressive house tonight. She was going to go home.

* * *

Gene sat in his office, staring out at CID. They were all busy working on a simple open shut murder case-Jealous wife kills the young girl she suspects of shagging her husband. He could see Ray, in his new role as DI, was attempting to coordinate it but not doing a very good job at the moment.

He sighed, exhaling a long stream of cigarette smoke. He was dog tired. He hadn't been sleeping well recently. Resting his head on one hand and closing his weary eyes, he tried telling himself it was because the job had been particularly stressful in the past few weeks. He knew it was because he was missing Alex though and he still hadn't shaken the feeling that something was wrong with her. He couldn't get her off his mind.

He dragged his eyes open and checked no one was watching him. He pushed the folder in front of him to one side and looked at the photo that was buried underneath like it held the secret to the universe. It showed him, Chris, Ray, Shaz and Alex at the Christmas party two years ago. Predictably, Chris and Shaz had eyes only for each other and had their arms around each other, wearing their ridiculous his'n'hers Father Christmas hats. Ray was standing right on the edge of the photo, not actually looking at the camera. If memory served Gene correctly, he was probably gazing over towards the bar at the busty blonde that sat there. To everyone's surprise, Ray had managed to pull said blonde and to everyone's even greater surprise, the relationship had lasted for two months or so. Finally, Gene's eyes were drawn to who was stood in the middle of the photo-him and Bolly. He looked relaxed and his head was turned to the right slightly as he looked at Alex who had looped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyes had that soft, mellow look about them that they got when she had had a few drinks and a genuine, happy smile lit up her face.

Gene's own lips twitched into a small smile as he remembered how, about an hour after this photo had been snapped, Alex and Shaz had both got off their faces on tequila slammers and gone around hugging everyone and telling them they were beautiful. When they had tired of this game (which they had both found hilarious at the time but come to regret once it had taken them months to live down), Alex had come and flopped in the seat next to Gene and told him he should wear purple shirts more often because they made his hair look very shiny and very blonde. She had then proceeded to ask if she could try his boots on, a request which he had obviously denied her. Upon seeing her disappointed face and then seeing her yawn, he had helped her up the stairs to her flat where she had passed out on the sofa.

He felt a tidal wave of sadness hit him as he looked at the photograph. He and Alex had been so close back then. He was convinced that if they hadn't met Lichfield the following year, something would have happened between them, something that would have lasted, not just a one night stand. Maybe then, Alex would have been at the last Christmas party and there would have been another photo like the one sat in front of him now.

He sighed and shoved the photo in his desk drawer. No good brooding over it now. He felt drained, something he wasn't all that used to feeling. Suddenly, all he wanted to do was go home, sit on the sofa and watch something rubbish on telly, maybe with one of Luigi's infamous pizzas and a bottle of Scotland's finest. He glanced at his watch. It was quarter to six. He guessed he could get away with letting the team off fifteen minutes early. The dead body and bloodied knife would still be there tomorrow. He ran his hands through his hair and went and told everyone to bugger off early.

* * *

Alex gave the immigration officer a small, tired smile as she took back her passport and walked straight past baggage collection. She didn't have any bags to collect. All she had brought back with her from California was her passport and her handbag. She had rushed to the safe in Edward's office and in her urgency to get out of the house, she had grabbed what she thought was two one hundred dollar bills only to discover, when she arrived at the airport, that she had in fact grabbed two ten dollar bills in her blind hurry to escape. She had had to sell her engagement ring to a couple of Japanese tourists to pay for her flight. She had sold it for much, much less than she knew it was worth but she didn't care. It had so many bad memories and experiences attached to it that she was glad to be rid of it. However, the cost of a last minute one way ticket back to London Heathrow had completely wiped her out. She was now left with just $9.37. Once she had got it changed back to sterling, she was left with just four pounds and seventeen pence.

What did she do now? Every second of that ten hour flight had made her feel a little safer as she had travelled further and further from Carmel and Edward but now it was coming up to half two in the morning and she was stranded at Heathrow. There was no way she had enough money for a hotel or a taxi back to Fenchurch. Even if she could get back, where would she go? Luigi had probably rented her flat out to someone new.

Just as she felt the sting behind her eyes that told her tears were on the way, she spotted a row of payphones. She walked over to them. She picked up the receiver of one and hesitated. There was only one person she could, or wanted, to speak to right now. He wouldn't be pleased at being woken up and she knew he was furious with her at the moment but surely he wouldn't abandon her at the airport?

She hesitated a few seconds longer and then slipped in a couple of coins and dialled the only phone number she had ever memorised, aside from her own.

_Ring Ring._

_Ring Ring._

_Ring Ring._

Was he going to pick up?

_Ring Ri-_

"DCI Hunt?" Just as she suspected, he sounded tired, groggy and rather pissed off at being woken. She took a deep breath.

"Gene? It's me," she said, a tide of relief washing over her at the sound of his voice.

"Bolly?" There was a tone of disbelief in his voice. He sounded almost pleased to hear her. Her heart soared. Maybe he wasn't as angry with her as she thought. However, it sank again when he next spoke. "Drake," he said, his voice suddenly colder than an Arctic wind, "you've been livin' over there almost four weeks now. Surely you've got yer silly little head around the fact that you're eight bloody hours behind London?" His harshness brought tears to her eyes. However, he was the only person she could trust and rely on right now. She swallowed down the tears as far as they would go before she next spoke.

"Gene, please," she begged. "I'm at Heathrow Airport. Please can you pick me up?"

He was silent.

"Please, Gene." She almost choked on a sob.

"Is this some sort of joke, Alex? I feel shit enough as it is without you-"

"No, no! I swear to you it's not a joke. I'm at Heathrow. I landed about three quarters of an hour ago."

"Is Lichfield with you?"

"No...I...He's not here."

"Why are you back then?"

"Gene," she was properly crying now, "please. I can't explain over the phone. I know you're angry with me but right now, I really, _really _need a friend and you're the only person I can turn to," she sobbed. Luckily, the area around her was pretty much deserted aside from a few airport staff who had seen it all before, so no one paid her any attention. "You're the only person I can trust," she added in a broken whisper. She heard Gene sigh.

"Which terminal?"

"Three."

"Gimme half an hour or so. Wait for me outside. You're explaining _everything _to me though," he ordered.

"Thank you so much," she said softy, swallowing more tears. There was a _click_ as he hung up.

* * *

**So, we've come in a circle right back to the beginning...What will happen next?**

**I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the next update to find out :p**

**Thanks so much for reading and if you review, I'll be tempted to write faster...:)**

**xxx**


	7. Chapter Six: Stop Standing There

**Update day! Here's the new chapter. You guys are about to finally find out if Gene is going to hear Alex out or not...**

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**I don't own Ashes and the chapter is un-Beta-d.**

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* * *

Never in her life had she been so pleased to see Gene Hunt's bright red Audi Quattro whizz into view, Alex thought to herself as she watched it draw up, gleaming in the artificial light radiating from the airport building behind her. She shivered in the cold early morning air. She was still wearing what she had been wearing the day before in California-A sun dress, sandals and a flimsy cardigan.

"Where's your stuff?" was the first thing Gene asked her when she got in the car.

"I don't have any of it," she said tiredly. Gene stared at her. This was _weird._

"Alright, Alex," he said coldly as he took the handbrake off and pulled the car away from the curb. "Explain. What's going on?"

Alex looked at him, his profile thrown into stark relief in the pale light filtering into the car from the retreating airport. He deserved the truth. She had asked so much of him yet all he wanted from her was a few words. She took a deep breath and began speaking.

"Er, well, I...I had to get out of there. I couldn't stay any longer..." she trailed off, slightly unsure of where to start.

"Why? Cold feet?" he asked harshly, indicating to the lack of rings on her left hand, assuming she was being vague on purpose.

"You could say that," she said sadly. "Our relationship, mine and Edward's, well, it wasn't exactly what it seemed from the outside."

"If you're about to go into detail about what you and him got up to in the-"

"No, no!" she reassured him quickly. They fell into awkward silence. Alex gazed out of the passenger window as London cloaked in night raced past. How she had missed it. The lights, the dirt, the noise, the old buildings...

Gene glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was acting strangely. She was subconsciously picking at her fingernails (which had been bitten ragged) and she seemed on edge. Maybe the car wasn't the best place to interrogate her and ask all the burning questions he had. Instead, he changed the subject a bit.

"You got anywhere to stay?" he asked. Alex looked shocked, like the thought of accommodation had only just occurred to her.

"No," she shook her head. He sighed.

"You can stay with me for now then." Even though he was furious with her, he couldn't stand the thought of her checking into some seedy hotel or wandering the streets at night, especially at this time of year when it didn't get light or acceptably warm until about quarter to eight in the morning.

"Thanks."

"What about your stuff? Clothes? Money?"

"I...I left all of my stuff in Carmel. I have some of my warmer winter clothes in storage here in London. We were going to get them sent out to us later on. As for money, I have less than a fiver in cash. My bank account...I don't even _know _what's going on with that," she sighed, her voice wobbling like she was about to cry and running a hand through her hair.

The rest of the journey passed in strained silence. Eventually, Gene pulled the car into the driveway of a three story large Victorian house and parked it next to a rusting Renault.

"I'm on the third floor," he said, taking a key out of his pocket. Alex guessed the house had been converted into flats. They got out the car and climbed the stairs. He unlocked the door, turned the hallway light on and guided her though to the sitting room. "Sit down," he told her, pushing her towards the sofa. He sat in the chair opposite. "Talk to me Alex. What's going on?"

"Gene, please, can we do this some other time? I'm really tired and I just-"

"Now, Drake."

Alex sighed. She knew she should have told Gene the second Edward had first hit her, but she didn't. She should have just told him the truth about the whole relationship, but she didn't. She was going to have to make it up to him now.

"I've already told you I didn't want to move out to California."

"Why? Why didn't you want to go?" Gene asked. Alex opened her mouth to speak but then decided against it.

"I'll show you," she said instead. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and pulled off her cardi. She held out her arms under the light so that Gene could see the bruises staining her arms and wrists. Some were yellowing and healing; others were purple, blue and fresh. She pulled her hair away from her neck so he could see the marks left by Lichfield's hands as he had strangled her. Alex heard Gene draw in a sharp breath. "There's more, all over my torso," she whispered.

"Alex..." Gene breathed, utterly shocked speechless. Some of the anger he felt towards her dissolved a little.

"You remember when we spent the night together and you noticed the next morning that my arm was bruised?" Gene nodded. "Well, I told you I had fallen over."

"It was him, wasn't it?"

"Yes," she said, tears springing to her eyes.

"How long has it been happening?" Alex stared at her lap. "Alex, how long?" he snapped.

"About seven months," she murmured. "He first did it about two months into the relationship."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gene asked in disbelief.

"I wish I had," she said quietly. "However, we weren't really on speaking terms at the time, were we?"

"For God's sake, Bolly! I'd have done something! _I'd have listened!"_ he exploded, feeling a sudden rush of fury towards her. He thought she trusted him; that she always had, even when their friendship had stalled.

"I know," she choked. "I thought it was just a one off occurrence though."

"That's how it starts though! A bloke knocks his missus about, she thinks it's a one off and forgives him so he does it again and again and again! You're a copper, Alex! You've _seen_ how it happens!" he shouted.

"I know! I didn't think it would happen to _me _though! I thought I was stronger; I thought I could handle it which is why I didn't end things with him!" she shouted back. Then, she realised that shouting was going to get them nowhere. She was desperate to make things up to Gene. The next time she spoke, it was in a quiet, reserved voice. "I knew no one would work out what was going on. He was very careful; very clever about it. He never hit me in places where it was going to show."

"Like your face." Gene, too, sounded a bit calmer now.

"Like my face," she repeated, staring back down at her lap.

"Why did you agree to marry him?"

"He proposed. I said no so he hit me but I still said no. He has a flat on the tenth floor of some luxury building near the city centre, so he dragged me out onto the balcony and shoved me so I was leant over the edge," she paused and swallowed. "He said he would push me off if I didn't say yes. So I did. I had to." She left out the part about Edward raping her between the hitting and the balcony incidents. He didn't need to know that.

"Shit, Alex," Gene murmured. He was sorely tempted to reach for the bottle of Scotch he had abandoned on the coffee table before he went to bed earlier.

"As for why I moved out to California with him, well, he forced me into that too. I knew that by moving out there with him I was resigning myself to a miserable life, and I was right. In the four weeks I lived there, he only let me out the house three times and all those times, he was with me. I just wasn't allowed outside, not even into the garden; only the bedroom balcony. It was miserable. I spent all day sitting in the bedroom or by the window, looking out over the sea and wishing he'd let me outside," she explained, letting the tears fall this time. "The morning we left London to fly over to Carmel, he drugged me so I wouldn't do a runner, which I was seriously considering. He put a sedative or something in my drink that morning. Not enough to knock me out but just enough to make me drowsy." The tears were followed by sobs which shook her whole fragile, bruised body.

Gene suddenly felt a surge of protectiveness towards Alex. He was angry with her for not coming to him when the abuse had started but overriding this anger was his disgust at Edward Lichfield and his sense of care and protection towards Alex. He found he couldn't be cross at her any more-any human being with a heart would struggle to do so whilst she was in this state- only at Lichfield and himself-_why_ hadn't he picked up on the signs earlier? Why hadn't he saved her from a miserable time? He was too busy being a jealous prick, that was why. Suddenly, it all came crashing down on him. He had missed her so much. He had missed everything about her. He all of a sudden just had the urge to hold her, something he hadn't been able to do for months and months. Silently, he got up off the armchair and went and sat next to Alex on the sofa. He gently slid one arm round her shoulders and the other round her waist and held her against him in a warm, solid embrace as she cried her heart out into his chest. Up close, Gene was horrified to see how many bruises she had and how angry some of them were. He was almost too scared to hold her in case he hurt her. However, she clung tightly to him, seemingly relieved that he had made the decision to come and comfort her.

"How did you escape?" he asked quietly once she had calmed down enough.

"He was going down to the Pebble Beach Resort to meet a business partner and he was staying overnight. He told me not to leave the house but about fifteen minutes after he had left, I grabbed my handbag and my passport and went to take some money from the safe in his office. I took what I thought was a couple of one hundred dollar notes but it was only two ten dollar bills. I had to sell my engagement ring at the airport to pay for my flight. That's why I have no money," she explained grimly.

"Oh, Alex," Gene said gently. "What a mess."

"I know," she sighed miserably.

"But you're safe now," he continued. "I'll help you sort out your bank account and tomorrow we can go and get your clothes out of storage."

"Thank you," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she murmured softly, over and over, so quietly that Gene almost couldn't hear her.

"You must be knackered."

Alex nodded. A sudden wave of fatigue had passed over her and she was almost too tired to speak now. Gene felt her slowly growing heavier and floppier in his arms.

"C'mon, Love. Don't fall asleep here," he said, nudging her so she was sat up a little straighter.

"Sorry," she croaked groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"Wait here," he said, getting up and walking out the room. He went to his bedroom, opened the wardrobe and pulled out an old shirt; one he couldn't remember wearing in ages. He went back through to where Alex was sat on the sofa, eyes drooping. "Here you go," he said, handing her the shirt.

"Thanks," she replied, taking the proffered garment.

"You can sleep in the bed. I'll take the sofa," he continued.

"No, it's fine. I'll sleep here," she protested.

"Bols, you take the bed. It's comfier than the sofa and you need a good night's kip," he told her firmly. Alex found she was too sleepy and drained to argue it any further.

"Well, if you're sure. Thank you," she tiredly gave him a weak smile.

"It's the door just opposite you as you walk out."

Alex smiled and turned to walk from the room.

"Night, Bolly-Knickers," he called after her.

"Good night, Guv."

Gene watched as she left the room and then heard the bedroom door click gently shut. He gave a small smile. She was back. Yes, he wished she had come back to him under different, happier circumstances, but he had her back nonetheless. He knew without a doubt that, because of the talk they had just had and his decision to get rid of his anger at her, their friendship was on the way to repair and that was exactly what Alex needed at the moment. A friend. Gene, there and then, resolved to be that friend.

Alex kicked off her shoes and pulled her dress over her head, draping it over the footboard of the bed. She shuddered as she looked down at her black and blue torso and quickly tugged on the shirt. She giggled quietly as she looked in the wardrobe mirror and saw that it had the larger collar typical of the 1970s. Despite the fact that the last time Gene wore this shirt was probably about 1978, it still smelt faintly of whiskey and the distinctive aftershave he wore.

She suddenly yawned deeply and the bed seemed to be beckoning her. She pulled back the covers and crawled in, reaching out only to snap off the bedside lamp.

As she lay on her side, feeling some of the bruises throb as they took her weight, she realised just how truly grateful she was to Gene. After all, he didn't have to get out of bed at half past two in the morning to rescue her from the airport. He didn't have to sit with her until gone four in the morning and listen to her pour her heart out about the mess she had got herself into. He didn't have to help her sort her life out. He didn't have to forgive her for abandoning him. She was so lucky to have a friend like him, especially after what she had done to him.

She rolled over onto her back, feeling her eyes growing heavier by the second. However, as she let them slide shut, she was confronted with a terrifying vision of Edward.

_He was standing over her as she sat with her back against the wall, her knees drawn up protectively to her chest. She could feel the evening sun dancing on her cheek as it flooded in through the bedroom window. However, her other cheek was raw and stung from the slap she had just received. Edward bent down and grabbed her so hard around the wrist that she knew she was going to have bruises. He dragged her to her feet, ignoring her anguished cries of pain and fear. He pulled her across the room and roughly threw her onto the bed, like he couldn't stand holding her because she was dirty. He straddled her and she began to panic as she felt his hands closing around her throat..._

Alex's eyes flew open and her hands moved to her throat as she gasped for breath. She ran her hands through her hair, pushing it back off her face. That hadn't been a vision. It had been a memory.

She sat up, massaging her temples and trying to fight back the headache that was creeping up on her. She knew she couldn't sleep like this, too terrified to close her eyes.

She got out of bed and padded over to the door. She opened it a crack and slipped out into the hallway. She cautiously tip-toed into the sitting room.

"Gene?" she called quietly into the darkness. Gene, who was lying on the sofa, still wide awake, sat up.

"Yeah?"

Alex went and perched on the edge of the sofa by his feet.

"I...er...it didn't feel right, chucking you out of your own bed."

"Told you, I don't mind," he reminded her.

"Yes, but it still doesn't feel right."

Gene swung his legs around so he was sitting properly on the sofa and shuffled so he was sat closer to her.

"What's wrong, Bolly?" he asked, hesitantly sliding an arm round her shoulders.

"I'm scared," she whispered in a broken, choked voice.

"There's no need to be. You're safe here, I promise," he reassured her.

"I know. It's just..."

Gene peered at her through the darkness. He thought he could see the glint of tears sparkling on her cheeks in the weak light the moon pushed through the crack in the curtains.

"I know," he said, making a snap decision. "Come with me." He got up from his seat and gently guided her back through to the bedroom. He got in one side of the bed and Alex, understanding what he was doing, got in the other side. They both stuck to their own sides of the bed, but Gene sought out Alex's hand under the covers. He took hold of it and gave it a soft, reassuring squeeze. Alex squeezed back, feeling a little more comforted and safe.

Eventually, Gene and Alex drifted off to sleep, hand in hand, safe in the knowledge that they would both still be there in one another's company in the morning.

* * *

**There we are then. They're back together!**

**By the way, the link between the title and the chapter names is still there...If you're struggling, I have posted a few clues on my Tumblr... ( x-ninety-nine-red-balloons-x )**

**Thanks so, so much for reading and if you drop me a review, I'll see if I can get Gene to come and sit on your sofa with you and listen to any woes you might have... :p**

**xxx**


	8. Chapter Seven: Complicated

**Well, I was going to make you wait until tomorrow for this update but then I thought "Oh, why not today?", so here I am :p**

**Please remember this story is rated 'M' for a reason! **

**So, here I am with some lovely, domestic Galex which becomes angsty...Sorry :/**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The next morning, Alex woke alone in the bed. She stretched lazily and sat up, rubbing her eyes. It was nice to have slept without having to worry about the person sleeping next to her trying anything on in the middle of the night and her having to just lay there and let them, and what sort of mood they would be in in the morning when she woke from her fitful, restless sleep.

She yawned and climbed out of bed, quickly stopping in front of the mirror to pat her hair into place and tug the shirt a bit further down her legs. She wandered from the bedroom and found Gene in the kitchen, sat at the table and reading the newspaper. He looked up as she stood in the doorway.

"Good afternoon, Bolly," he smirked.

"Good after...What?" she asked, confused. Gene nodded towards the kitchen clock which told her it was five to one in the afternoon. "Oh, gosh! Sorry," she giggled.

"Nah. Yer were knackered. You needed the sleep."

"It's probably the jetlag kicking in."

"Bastard time difference."

"Edward will be back at the house by now. He'll have realised I'm not there..." she swallowed, absently chewing on her already ragged thumbnail. Gene took in the woman stood in his kitchen doorway. She was still fuzzy with sleep, dressed in one of his old blue shirts that stopped half way down to her knees, showing off her shapely legs, and was far too long in the arms. There was a small worry line visible on her forehead as her eyes took on a burdened, faraway look and a lock of hair escaped from behind her ear to tickle her cheek. He noticed she had scrunched up the toes on one foot as she worried.

"Come and sit down, Bols. I'll make you a cuppa," he offered, feeling sorry for her. Alex snapped out of her worried daze and crossed the room to sit opposite him.

"Gene Hunt making me tea. I never thought I'd see the day," she joked as he filled the kettle.

"Alex Drake in my bed. I never thought I'd see the day," he retorted, light heartedly. "Anyway, I've made you tea _plenty _of times before!"

"Showing me where you hid the teabags doesn't count," she told him. They grinned at each other and for a while, the only sound in the kitchen was the sound of the kettle heating the water. Then, her expression changed. "Thank you for making me feel better last night," she said seriously.

"That's not the only way I could have made you feel better," he winked.

"You were the perfect gentleman."

"Yes, I was. I woke up this morning and there you were, snoring your head off."

"Hey! I do _not _snore!"

"Oh, I beg to differ," he grinned, placing a steaming mug of tea in front of her and sitting back down with his own mug. Alex kicked him playfully under the table.

"Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Am I that bad?" he demanded but with the hint of a smile in his eyes.

"Yes," she smirked.

"Too bad, Missus. It's Sunday," he grinned triumphantly. Alex's face suddenly fell serious again.

"Shit. That means the banks are closed." She sighed, burying her face in her hands.

"First thing tomorrow, Bolly," he promised. "I thought maybe we could go and get some of your stuff today."

"I don't have anywhere to put it though; I have nowhere to live, remember?"

"You can stay here until you find somewhere," he said, finding great interest in the tabletop.

"Are you sure?" Gene didn't say anything but nodded. "Thank you," she said gratefully, taking a sip of tea so she wouldn't burst into tears.

"Don't cry, Bols. I promise livin' with me won't be that bad!"

"You're just being so nice to me after I was so horrible to you," she gushed, her throat aching from holding back the tears.

"Bolly, you did nothing wrong. Not really. I was the one being the bastard. I should have just spoken to you sooner," he said regretfully.

"I think we both acted in ways we shouldn't have," she commented.

"Let's just focus on what's happening now. We've got all the time in the world to make up for it."

"Yeah," she agreed, giving a small smile as the threat of tears left. She finished her tea.

"Do you want a shower or something?" he asked.

"Yes please," she replied, suddenly very aware of how grimy she felt after her long journey.

"Right, I'll just get you a towel then."

Gene got up from the table and she followed him. He went to the cupboard in the hallway and extracted a clean towel from amongst the coats, piles of clean laundry and broken, abandoned odds and ends that he no longer had any use for but kept anyway.

"Thanks," she smiled, taking the towel from him and disappearing into the bathroom. "Won't be long," she called over her shoulder.

"Take yer time," he told her. In truth, he was hoping she'd be a while in the bathroom because he needed some time to get his thoughts straight. He went and sat back at the kitchen table and wondered, not for the first time, where he stood with Alex.

Ages ago, before they had even met Lichfield, they had been so close to each other, they had practically been able to tell what the other was thinking. As Gene had thought, many, many times before, he was sure that if Lichfield hadn't got in the way, he and Alex would have ended up in a relationship, probably for the long run and not just a one night stand (albeit a wonderful one). However, Lichfield _had _got in the way and that had torn them apart. They hadn't really been the same since; they had been strained and the final blow had come when Alex had announced she was leaving. That revelation had completely shattered them and she had walked from his life.

However, now she was back and she was lost and she was scared, but growing out of this despair was the blossom of a friendship healing and returning. Ever since the truth had been blasted into the open during their talk in the small hours of that morning, the closeness had returned, the chemistry was back and the trust was steadily repairing. Alex saw him as a pillar of strength and that's what he wanted to be for her, however, he wanted more from her than just her friendship. They had fallen asleep hand in hand last night in the same bed and Gene was sure friends just didn't do that. When he had woken and felt Alex's warm hand in his own and seen her features softened by sleep with her hair fanned out round her head, he had realised he wanted to wake up to that sight every morning.

Alex had told him that she didn't regret their night together, but was that still true?

Gene snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the shower stop running. He would ask her when she came back through to the kitchen.

Sure enough, about five minutes later, Alex re-appeared in the kitchen with her damp hair gently curling round her face, wearing the same dress as yesterday. She held her cardi in her hand. Gene felt sick as he saw the bruises up her bare arms.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled, sitting back opposite him, pushing her damp fringe out her eyes.

"We can go and rescue your stuff in a minute," he said.

"Thank goodness! I was worried I was going to have to wear this dress forever," she grinned, pulling the cardigan on. Gene was relieved because it meant he didn't have to look at the marks that had been inflicted upon her because he was too wrapped up in his own jealousy to realise what was happening to her...

"Before we go, I want to ask you something," he said, focusing back on her face.

"What is it?" questioned Alex, sensing he was about to ask her something serious.

"I know you've told me before, but I...want to ask you again..." He was about to say _"I NEED to ask you again,"_ but he didn't want to sound like he was begging her. Alex just carried on looking at him. "Err...you remember _that _night...?"

Alex nodded. She didn't need to ask him what night he was on about. How could she ever forget it?

"You told me the morning after and again the night before you left for America that you didn't regret it. I...Well, do you regret it now?"

Alex smiled softly and looked down at the tabletop.

"Gene," she began, "I don't think I could regret that night even if I tried; even if I wanted to," she said earnestly, looking back up at him. Before he could speak though, she carried on. "I think I sort of know what you're getting at here. You're my closest friend and I really, really need you at the moment. I need to get my life back on track and sort myself out before I go looking for anything _more _than a friendship. Trust me, if the circumstances were any different, I'd..." she explained gently, trailing off and looking down at her hands. Gene was silent for a while. He had been expecting her to say something like that. He accepted it; he understood where she was coming from.

"Good. That's fine, Bolly," he said eventually.

"You never know though," she added, almost as an afterthought, "something might come along and change that..." she muttered, more to herself than him.

"Maybe," he said. "Right, Bollinger Knickers," he said brightly, "let's go get your clothes. Where's Lichfield hiding them?"

"A friend owns a self storage company in Hackney. His name is Simon Deans I think," she replied with a small smile.

"Ok. Can you remember where it is?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's quite a small premises but it's easy enough to find."

"Let's go then."

They both stood up from the table. However, as they did, Alex's vision for a split second went black before slowly dissolving back into view. She felt dizzy and light headed and grabbed the back of the chair with one hand to steady herself and pressed the other hand to her temple, trying to make the feeling pass.

"Bolly? What's wrong?" Gene asked, watching the colour drain from her face and gently but firmly pushing her back down into her seat.

"I'm fine. I must have stood up too quickly."

"Are you sure?" he asked disbelievingly. "When was the last time you ate?" Alex cast her mind back. She hadn't eaten the cheesecake Edward had presented to her the day she ran away and she had left before the meal the staff were meant to be cooking her was served.

"I...I can't remember," she said faintly. "Edward wouldn't let me eat anything for two or three days before I left and I haven't had anything since I've been back home..."

Gene's blood boiled. "Bastard! Why didn't he let you eat?"

"Oh, I pissed him off because I refused to choose a wedding dress," she said vaguely. She didn't want to go into much detail in case she started crying. If she did, she wouldn't be able to stop.

"Right then, we'll have some lunch before anything else," he said. Alex nodded. She now realised that her stomach was so empty that it ached. She must have been running on a cocktail of determination, fear and adrenalin before.

"I think that could be one of your better ideas," she told him.

"Oh, I'm full of 'em, Drake," he smirked. "I'm afraid I can't offer you much," he went and looked in a few cupboards and the fridge. "Soup...sandwich...cheese on toast..."

"Cheese on toast sounds good," Alex smiled. It had always been one of her favourite comfort foods and she hadn't eaten it for ages.

"Two lots of cheese on toast then," Gene confirmed, getting a block of cheddar out the fridge. Alex watched him for a while.

"You're a closet domestic goddess, Guv," she smirked.

"Oi!" he protested, throwing a tea towel at her. "Just for that, Missy, you can come here and grate the cheese for me!"

* * *

"Now which way?" Gene asked just over an hour later as the Quattro prowled around the back streets of Hackney.

"Left I think. No! Wait! I think we were meant to go left at that junction back by that pub...oh! I don't know!" cried Alex, becoming frustrated that she wasn't able to remember the location.

"Thought you said it was easy to find?" Gene reminded her.

"I thought it was! I've only been there twice and both times with Edward and-Wait! I recognise this road! Go right at the end of the road and it's the big warehouse like building with the Harley Davidson in the courtyard!"

"You sure?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Alex. Gene obliged and turned right, bringing the car to a stop as he found the place Alex was describing. There was a large courtyard with a couple of old vans parked in it, along with the Harley Davidson Alex had promised. There was a small Portakabin marked 'Office' standing next to the large, Victorian looking warehouse building. A sign on the wall proclaimed 'Simon's Self Storage'.

"Original," muttered Gene as he climbed out the car, slamming the door behind him.

They walked towards the shabby Portkabin together. Alex rapped firmly on the door. It sounded cheap and thin. There was a pause and then some scuffling from inside, footsteps and then the door squeaked open to reveal a tall, lanky man in his late twenties. He was wearing a tatty pair of jeans and a tight fitting black t-shirt that showed off his well defined muscles. Thrown over the top was an expensive looking leather motorcycle jacket. Gene assumed he was the owner of the Harley. The man peered at Alex and Gene for a second or two before his face broke into a wide, crooked smile.

"Alex Drake!" he exclaimed.

"Hi, Simon," she gave a small smile.

"Hey, I thought you were in the States with Eddy?"

"Uh..." she glanced at Gene sideways. He too was trying to think up a cover story. Alex got there first. "I...There was a change of plan. He's already over there and I'm going to fly out later this year, which is why I'm here, actually."

"Oh yeah?"

"My winter clothes are in storage but obviously I'm going to need them now. Could I pick them up?"

"Course, Darlin'. Hold on, I'll just get you the key and a couple of boxes," Simon replied, disappearing back inside the office.

"_Darlin'?" _Gene asked when Simon was out of earshot.

"It's what he calls everyone," Alex explained in a hushed voice.

"Hmm. You seem to know him pretty well..."

"He has a fiancée," Alex rolled her eyes. "Gene, please, I've just run away from one controlling, possessive guy. Don't you start. Please."

Gene was silent for a while. "Sorry, Bols," he said genuinely. He had seen the look on her face after he had spoken. Like she was trying to repress a memory. "You know it's only 'cause I care," he admitted quietly, nudging a small stone with the toe of his boot.

"That's what _he _used to say," Alex murmured.

"Except I mean it," Gene replied, looking at her this time. Alex smiled.

"I know you do." She reached across and squeezed his hand. Gene suddenly felt all warm inside.

"_Poof,"_ he thought to himself.

Simon returned with a key attached to which was a tag with 'Eighty-One' scrawled on it. He handed it to Alex, along with a couple of cardboard boxes.

"There you go, Alex. Just chuck the key back my way when you're done."

"Thanks," she smiled. Simon disappeared back inside the Portakabin and Gene and Alex walked into the larger building next to it.

"Which number?" asked Gene as he looked at the signs stuck on the wall of each corridor that split off from the main one they were walking down.

"Err...eighty-one," Alex replied, glancing at the tag attached to the key. The continued walking down the main, brightly lit corridor.

"Thirties...Forties...Fifties..." Gene muttered as they passed each smaller passage. Finally, they came to the corridor marked 'Eighty-Eighty Nine'.

"Here we are," Alex said, unlocking the garage style door to number eighty one and rolling the door up. Gene stepped in and flicked a switch. Everything was illuminated by a harsh, fluorescent light. "Most of this is Edward's..." Alex murmured absently as she looked at the piles of boxes, the swanky furniture, the mystery items covered by dust sheets and the odd bicycle that cluttered the lockup. At the back of the room stood four or five free standing clothes rails and an aged, battered chest of drawers.

Alex walked over and pawed through the first two rails. "These are all his clothes," she said in frustration as she was greeted by suits and chinos and shirts and sweaters.

"Is that yours?" asked Gene, indicating towards two other rails.

"Yes," she replied, looking through the garments and seeing all her familiar blouses, jumpers, jeans and trousers and a couple of blazers. She had never been so pleased to see her clothes! Alex pulled the clothes off the hangers and folded them, starting with the blouses, then the jeans and trousers, then the jumpers and finally, the jackets and her dressing gown. She put all the clothes into the box that Gene held out for her. When all her clothes had been cleared from the rail, she was able to see that on the floor under it were some of her shoes. She bent down and scooped them all up at once. However, as she stood up again, a wave of nausea swept over and she felt dizzy for the second time that day.

"Bols?" asked Gene, observing her funny behaviour.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she assured him, scrunching up her eyes and opening them again. This succeeded in making the feeling pass. "Stood up too quickly," she used as an excuse again as she threw her white boots, slippers and several pairs of stilettos followed by a pair of flat pumps into the box.

"So you _do _own a pair of flat shoes!" Gene exclaimed in mock surprise.

"Believe it or not, yes," she grinned, moving to the chest of drawers. After a short battle with one of the drawers which was determined not to reveal its contents to Alex, she pulled out a few of her batwing tops (the ones that used to drive Gene mad when she wore them in the office) from amongst some of Edward's neatly pressed and starched shirts. She placed them in the second box, followed by a couple of pairs of pyjamas and night dresses, two or three skirts, some t-shirts and vest tops and a wrap around woolly grey dress. "Oh, wow! I forgot I put these here," she said, scrabbling about in the bottom of one of the drawers and extracting some brightly coloured belts which, too, were dumped in the box. One final sweep of the drawers turned up a few pairs of leggings, some bed socks, the odd pair of tights and three pairs of lace topped stockings, bundled together like socks.

"You gonna be modelling those later?" Gene asked as Alex threw the stockings in with the rest of her clothes.

"In your dreams," she muttered, closing the drawer and turning her attention to one of her handbags she had spotted sitting on a coffee table with a broken leg. She picked it up and opened it. "Sunglasses and a hairbrush!" she smiled, pulling them from the lining of the bag. She unzipped the inside pocket. "Oh my god! Money!" Alex said triumphantly as she held up the handful of one pound notes she had found, along with a fiver. She stuffed the items back in the bag and threw it over her shoulder. "Right, I think that's everything."

"You sure?" questioned Gene. "What about that?" he asked, nodding towards a clothes rail which was cluttered with Edward's winter coats and polo necks. Hanging in amongst them was Alex's much leather jacket, covered with a protective dry cleaner's bag.

"Oh my god!" she cried, releasing the jacket from its confines. "How could I forget about you?"

"Bols, are you _talking _to your jacket?" Gene asked sceptically.

"No," she said, giggling. She tugged off her flimsy cardigan, threw it in one of the boxes and shrugged the much loved jacket on over her dress. "Come on," she said, closing both boxes and picking one of them up. Gene took the other.

"Bloody hell, woman! How many clothes do you have? This box is nearly heavier than _you_!"

They locked up and returned the key to Simon who came to the door looking rather flustered and sporting a rumpled hairstyle, something, Gene and Alex guessed, that was probably to do with the curvy brunette who was in the background, leaning against his desk, tugging her pencil skirt back down to an acceptable length.

On their way back to Gene's flat, they stopped and Alex spent the little money she had remaining, along with the money she had found in her handbag, on underwear, socks and shampoo.

"I still need to buy a toothbrush," she murmured, looking at the measly handful of coins she had left.

"Well, I have a spare one at home, but seeing as you didn't let me go underwear shopping with you, you can't have it," Gene huffed, jokingly.

"I'm sure I'll manage," she said, nudging him playfully.

* * *

"Well, Bols," Gene said when they were back home, "I'm afraid there isn't a lot of wardrobe space." They were stood in Gene's bedroom in front of his open wardrobe, evaluating the amount of space left in it.

"Doesn't matter. Usually, most of this stuff I would keep in my chest of drawers, so it will be fine folded up in the boxes."

"Well, there's room for some of your stuff in here."

"Thanks. I'll hang up the jeans and the blouses."

Alex bent down and opened one of the boxes. She pulled out her favourite pair of skinny jeans-the black ones-but as she straightened up, the wave of nausea crashed over her again.

"Alex?" Gene asked in concern as she pressed a hand to her forehead. He was getting really worried about her. This was the third time in a few hours this had happened. "Don't give me any of that 'stood up too quickly' crap."

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm-Oh God," she paled even more, dropping the jeans. "I think I'm going to-" She broke off, running to the bathroom before she puked on the floor. Gene heard her being sick and went after her. Tentatively, he pushed open the bathroom door and saw her knelt over the toilet bowl, bracing her arms on the edge of it. He went and sat on the side of the bath and held back her hair for her. "No, please, Gene," she protested. "I don't want you to s-" she stopped talking as she threw up again.

When Alex felt she wasn't going to be sick again, she flushed the loo and got shakily to her feet. Gene went and got her a glass of water and she gratefully rinsed her mouth out before taking some small sips. "Sorry," she mumbled sheepishly.

"Don't worry," he said, gently rubbing her back. "What was all that about? Was my cheese on toast really that bad?" This raised a small smile.

"No, no. I feel fine; I don't feel ill. I really don't know what happened then. I haven't been sick like that since-" she broke off, her eyes growing wide as something hit her.

"Since what?"

"Gene, what's the date today?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"The twenty seventh I think."

"I haven't been sick like that I was pregnant with Molly," she whispered, sitting down with her back against the bath before she collapsed in shock. Gene could see her counting back the days in her head and then giving up as she lost count. "Oh, God," she murmured. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no," she moaned, her voice wobbling more and more with each 'no'. "I can't be," she said, tears beginning to escape. "I can't be!" she wailed, beginning to sob as Gene sat himself down next to her.

"Calm down, Bols," he said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I can't calm down," she cried hysterically, the scalding tears gushing down her flushed cheeks. Gene was a little taken aback. He had seen her crying before, but then, it had always been sad, hormonal, fearful, and, in some ways _neat_, little sobs. Now, she was crying fat, heavy tears of anguish and despair and panic. He had never, ever seen her this upset or panicky before. "I can't be. I just _can't_ be pregnant!"

"Why?" asked Gene. Her tears fell faster as she buried her face in his shoulder and spoke the confession that she had been avoiding vocalising; the one that shook Gene to the core.

"He...he used to...used to...He used to rape me," she sobbed in a strangled voice, choking on her words. Gene stiffened. He felt a surge of blind, white hot anger sear through him.

"What?" he growled.

"Y-you head me!" Alex cried. Yes, Gene had heard her perfectly clearly. He was praying that he hadn't though. He had been begging a higher being that his ears had deceived him; that she hadn't just said what he thought she had. The world was cruel sometimes though. He felt Alex shaking violently in his one armed embrace. It was so bad that he was worried she was going to hurt herself, so he dragged her onto his lap and coiled both arms around her and held her tightly. As she sat crying, no, it was more like she was _screaming_, Gene's anger bubbled dangerously just below the surface. How _dare_ Edward Lichfield do something like that to Alex. How could he do something like that when he was apparently in _love_ with her? Hitting her was one thing, yes, it was still inexcusable, but _this_ just made it one hundred times worse.

"How many times did he do it, Alex?" Gene asked. He was so angry that his voice came out soft, almost neutral. Alex shook her head and carried on crying. She was too devastated to speak. "Alex," he said, firmly.

"I-I lost c-count," she stuttered through her heart-wrenching tears. He felt a surge of protectiveness towards her and tightened his grip on her.

"Well, when did it start?"

"Around the s-same time that he started h-hitting me. A-about t-two months into the relationship," she spoke into his chest.

"Jesus Christ, Alex! Why didn't you end it there and then? Why didn't you report him? Why didn't you come to _me?" _he exclaimed, most of the anger he was feeling now coming through in his voice, some of it aimed towards her.

"W-we've _had_ this conversation," she wailed. "I t-told you I wish I had but I didn't and there's nothing I can do about it now and look and the mess it's got me into," she gushed, without pausing for breath. She tried to take a deep breath now, but it was cut short by another heartbreaking sob rippling through her body. Gene looked down at her beautiful face, flushed red and hot from crying and stained by her tears of fear and regret. The anger he felt at her dissolved instantaneously in that moment. Shifting her position in his arms, he stood up and carried her through to the sitting room, gently placing her on the sofa. He immediately saw her as being more fragile now that he knew she had a baby growing inside her. He knew this wasn't necessarily the case, but he couldn't help it. Gene sat down next to her on the settee and she crawled back into his arms, needing to be comforted; needing to feel safe. He held her, stroking her hair gently until the awful, wailing, gasping sobs had ceased and all that remained was a silent trickle of tears that she kept swiping at.

"I can't do it, Gene. I can't have this baby," she said quietly after a while. "Every time I look at it, I'll be reminded of what I went through. What happens when it starts growing up and asking questions about Daddy? What am I meant to say? I just won't be able to love it and to bring a child into a loveless world is something I just can't do," Alex agonised, fear obvious in her voice. "Then again, the alternative...can I do it? Could I really go through with it?"

"Bolly," Gene murmured, wanting to make something clear from the start, something he hoped she knew anyway. "Whatever you decide to do, I won't judge you. I promise I'll still be here for you." His words brought fresh tears to her eyes.

"I wish there was someone to tell me what to do," she whispered in a defeated, broken voice Gene had never heard her use before, and hoped he never would again.

"Sshhh. Don't start crying again," he comforted her. "Just think about it. No one is going to force you into a decision, so take yer time. I'm not going to tell you what to do; I _can't _tell you what to do, but I am going to look after you, Bols."

She sniffed, taking several shuddering breaths until she was calm and sure that she was no longer going to cry.

"Thank you, Gene," she said, her voice raw with emotion as she took his hand and laced her fingers through his.

"It's what I'm here for," he replied gently.

* * *

Alex passed the rest of the afternoon in a shaken daze. At about quarter to five, she asked Gene if she could use the phone.

"Of course," he said. She was in the hallway on the phone for a little more than five minutes. Even though she was in his home, Gene felt like an intruder on her conversation and so he shut himself in the sitting room. She walked in when she was done and wiped a silent tear from her eye using the sleeve of the jumper she had changed in to.

"I...er...I've made an appointment to...Oh, God. I can't even say it," she said sadly, chewing her lip. Gene patted the space on the sofa next to him. She sat in it, tucking her legs underneath her.

"When for?" he asked, draping an arm around her without even thinking about it.

"Half one tomorrow," she whispered.

"That soon?" Gene was a little surprised.

"Yes. I just feel...the sooner I get it done, the less stress it'll cause the baby..." she trailed off. "Oh, God," she cried suddenly. "What am I _on _about? Of course it will stress the baby! I'm going to kill it, Gene! I'm going to kill an unborn child!" she sobbed. Gene felt an explosion of anger at Lichfield, not for the first time. _He _had put Alex in this situation. It was _his _fault that she had to make this agonising decision. Gene swore that if the American ponce was in the room right now, he would snap his neck like a twig. Gene heard himself murmuring words of comfort and reassurance to Alex but he wasn't sure what they were. However, they worked because Alex's sobs grew quieter and she spoke again. "If I go through this, Gene, how does it make me any better that a murderer? If I were to go out right now and hold a gun to someone's head and pull the trigger, I would get charged with murder and thrown in prison for the rest of my life. However, if I go to a clinic, get put under anaesthetic and go through with a termination, I'll still be free to walk the streets tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that..." She seemed a little calmer than before, like she was silently struggling to come to terms with something. However, she was still shaking.

"It won't be _you_ killing the baby though," he said.

"Well, as good as. I'll be giving a complete stranger permission to do so."

"You really need to think about it, Bolly. I know it's not an easy decision to make. I told you before; I'm not going to tell you what to do but whichever choice you make you're going to have some regrets."

"Thanks for that," she said, half angrily, half miserably. Gene sighed. In retrospect, he realised that probably wasn't the best thing to have said.

"Listen," he said softly, "you have the appointment booked. It's there, it's yours and it's not going to go away. It's there if you need it, if you want it. Then again, just because it's there doesn't mean you have to go to it." Alex nodded, looking like she was miles away as she slid her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. "And I stick by what I said before," he continued, "whichever decision you make, I'll still be here for you."

"Thank you," she whispered.

* * *

Later that night, they lay side by side in bed. There had been no discussion or argument regarding sleeping arrangements that evening. They had both just climbed into bed together; it had felt right.

However, Alex was twisting and turning, unable to get comfortable as the weight of her moral dilemma burdened her mind. At first, Gene had done nothing, thinking she was still so tired from her long journey and emotional day that she would eventually fall asleep. It wasn't to be though.

"Bolly, keep still," he eventually mumbled sleepily after Alex had rolled onto her side, wincing as her bruises protested, and taking half the duvet with her.

"Sorry," she replied, sounding like she was still wide awake. "It's just..."

"I know," he whispered back, shuffling over to her side of the bed and coiling his arms round her waist so he was hugging her from behind, wrinkling his nose as her hair tickled his face. He felt Alex take his hand and he brushed his thumb gently over her knuckles. "Try and sleep," he said, placing the lightest of kisses on the back of her neck.

As Gene felt Alex relax a little in his arms and as he himself began to drift to sleep, he felt pretty sure that you didn't fall asleep like this with someone if you were _'just friends'._

* * *

**Please drop me a review and tell me what you thought! Oh yeah...Bonus points to anyone who can tell me the significance of the number of the lockup Alex's stuff was in... :)**

**Thanks so much for reading! I love you guys!**

**xxx**


	9. Chapter Eight: Keep Holding On

**I'm updating a day earlier than intended because it's my sister's birthday tomorrow, so I probably won't have time tomorrow... **

**Here we are, a new chapter but a tricky decision for Alex... Please remember, the 'M' rating is in place FOR A REASON before you read on!**

**Hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

This time round, Alex and Gene woke at the same time in the morning, prompted by the incessant buzzing of Gene's alarm clock. Alex had eventually managed to fall into some form of unconsciousness but despite this didn't feel rested. However, the feel of Gene's arm thrown round her waist still reassured her somewhat. She rolled onto her back, wincing as a couple of bruises protested.

"How are you?" asked Gene from beside her.

"I don't know. Terrified, I suppose."

"I'm gonna take the morning off work and come to the bank with you."

"You don't have to do that," she shook her head.

"Don't argue, Bols."

"Ok," she said, for once doing as she was told. She dragged her hands over her face. "I still haven't made my mind up," she whispered.

"You will though. Remember what I said. The appointment's there if you want it."

"Yeah."

"Come on, up you get," he said, sitting up in bed and pulling her up with him. "You can have the bathroom first. Just make sure you leave some hot water."

"Thanks, I will." Alex climbed out of bed. However, before she left the room, she stopped in front of the mirror. She pulled her pyjama top tight against her stomach. "You can't even tell yet..." she murmured, turning sideways on to the mirror and looking at her flat tummy.

"How far along do you reckon you are?" Gene asked, surprising himself slightly with the girly question.

"I don't know. Twelve weeks, give or take. I can't remember the last time I had a..." she trailed off. She shook herself and let go of her top, grabbing her dressing gown and the bottle of shampoo she had brought yesterday. "I won't be long," she assured him, walking from the room. Gene watched her hunched figure retreating. He felt so sorry for her. Some could argue that this whole mess was Alex's fault; she walked into the relationship; she let Edward control her; she could have ended it sooner, but Gene refused to see it that way. Yes, for the life of him he couldn't understand why she hadn't come to him and told him what was going on, but in his line of work, he had seen it a million times before. Abused, degraded wives and girlfriends being knocked about and being too intimidated and scared to come forward and report their husband or boyfriend. Gene guessed that to really understand what had gone through her head he would have to be put in her situation. He knew he had more of a chance of getting Ray to don a pink summer dress and join the cast of My Fair Lady than he had of being in Alex's situation though. As for the decision about the abortion, he wished he could make it so she didn't _have _to make the decision. However, he couldn't do that. Nor could he help her make the choice or accompany her to the clinic, as much as he wanted to. He didn't want to influence or pressure her. She had to make absolutely sure that it was the right choice she made; that she felt totally sure she was doing the right thing. Gene knew which decision he wanted her to make, but it wasn't down to him. He just had to be there for her and help her through all the shit life was currently throwing at her.

He climbed out of bed, pulled on his dressing gown and made the bed. He waited about five minutes and then Alex reappeared in the room, rubbing her dripping wet hair with a towel, her dressing gown thrown around her slender frame. The 'V' at the top of the robe that exposed her bare skin also showed off a few bruises. Gene dreaded to think how many peppered her stomach if her arms were anything to go by.

He showered quickly and then pulled on a shirt and some trousers, dumping his tie and jacket on the table in the hallway. He went into the kitchen where Alex, dressed in a blue blouse and her favourite black jeans, handed him a cup of tea.

"Thanks, Bolly," he said, taking a slurp. His face nearly broke into a massive smile. She had remembered exactly how much sugar he liked. Alex picked up her own mug and took a sip of tea, discovered it was too hot and put it down on the table.

"Err, Gene," she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"When you go into work later, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone I'm back. For now at least."

"They'll have to know eventually, Bols," he said gently.

"I know. I _want _them to know, but first, I'd just like to get myself sorted out, wait for the bruises to fade and think of a plausible cover story before any of them know," she explained, revisiting her mug of tea to give her hands something to do.

"Fair enough, Bolly. You going to have any breakfast?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I'm not sure if that's the best idea..." Alex mused, biting her lip. "I'm so nervous I probably couldn't hold it down, and I could be having an operation later..."

"Ok."

They finished their tea in silence. Gene went to get his shoes on and as he was stood in front of the hallway mirror knotting his tie, Alex walked through in a pair of ridiculously high heels and her favourite leather jacket. Gene wistfully thought how, a year ago, their relationship had the power to easily make this scene lead somewhere very different, maybe them leaving the flat as a proper couple, arriving at the station together...

"Are you ready?" Alex asked, breaking him from his daydream.

"Uh, yeah. One thing," he added quickly, scrabbling in a bowl on the telephone cabinet and handing her two keys, "this one's for the door downstairs," he told her, pointing at the chunky, older key. "And this one's for the front door," he pointed at the sharply cut Yale key. "I'm going to work after the bank, but you can come back here if you want, before, you know..."

"Thanks," she gave a half smile.

"Come on then, Dakey. Arse in the Quattro."

Alex gave another, wider smile. Some things never changed.

* * *

"Well, Ms Drake," the friendly, elderly banker said, "you're very lucky. According to my records, the transfer of the entire contents of your account to an offshore one was cancelled..." he flicked through his paperwork, looking for a date, "two weeks ago," he concluded.

"How?" asked Alex, who was sitting across the desk from him with Gene in a bland, faceless office.

"According to this brief report, suspicion was aroused because you hadn't accessed your account for well over a month and _then _requested the transfer. Also, the bank was unable to contact you regarding the money on the given phone number," the banker explained, underlining the phone number Alex had had when she lived in the flat above Luigi's.

"I...I didn't request any sort of transfer though..." a confused Alex protested.

"No. Apparently your next of kin did."

"I don't have a next of kin..."

"Yer security's not up to much," Gene growled across the table.

"Yes, there does appear to have been a lapse which is why we're taking the issue very seriously. We'll probably launch an internal investigation," the banker explained, removing his wire rimmed glasses as he addressed Gene. He turned back to Alex. "However, Ms Drake, if you just sign this form, you'll regain full access to your money."

"The same amount as before?" asked Alex anxiously.

"Yes," the man reassured her. Alex visibly relaxed.

"Ok. Thank you," she said, taking the proffered pen and scrawling her signature along the line at the bottom of the form that sat on the table in front of her.

"Well," the banker said, taking the pen and paper from Alex and signing the line below the one she just had, "you should be able to start using your account again within three to five working days. You'll receive a telephone call to the number you gave me earlier when it's all resolved."

"Thank you," Alex repeated, shaking the man's hand and feeling genuinely grateful for his help.

"Just pop back in or ring if you experience any further problems."

"I will," Alex said, standing up and walking from the office, followed by Gene.

"That's a relief," she sighed as they stepped out onto the chilly street.

"One less thing for you to worry about," Gene added.

"Doesn't feel like it..." she said quietly. Gene knew exactly what was on her mind.

"I'll take you back to the flat if you want. You can sit quietly and think things through."

"Thank you."

They reached the Quattro and climbed in. Gene started the engine and steered his pride and joy out of town and back into the quiet, residential streets. When they arrived back, Gene turned to her.

"Do you want me to come up with you?"

"No thanks. I'll be fine."

"Ok."

"Remember what I said."

"Huh?" Gene frowned lightly in confusion.

"Please don't tell CID I'm back yet."

"I won't Bolly. If they ask, I'll tell 'em I've been with an informant." Alex gave him a weak smile of thanks. "C'mere," he said gruffly, holding his arm out. Alex leant across the gear stick and he pulled her in for a one armed hug. She leant against him, trying to forget, even just for a second. "I'll see you later," he murmured in her ear. "I'll come straight back, about quarter past six."

"See you later," she whispered. Gene released her and watched through the windscreen as Alex walked to the main door, pulled the spare keys he had given her from her pocket, unlocked the door and disappeared inside. He sat in the car for a while, again wishing he could wave a magic wand and sort the whole mess out. He couldn't though. Sighing, Gene restarted the engine and backed out the driveway.

* * *

Alex sat on the sofa in Gene's sitting room, a long forgotten cup of tea clasped in her hands. She glanced at the clock. It was midday. She had an hour and a half until her appointment yet she still hadn't made a decision. She felt so helpless.

A fat, hot, silent tear rolled down her cheek. How could she have been so stupid? She should have noticed the signs from the start. They were subtle at first- Edward telling her which colour she looked best in and then going cold and ignoring her if she didn't wear it; Edward asking her who she had been talking to as soon as she hung up the phone; asking her where she had been if she was late meeting him because of work...

She should have seen it. She was a psychologist and a police officer. She had seen it a million times before. Another tear rolled down her face. She hated Edward. She wished she had never met him. She should have listened to Gene.

_"I'd stay away from him, Drake. He only wants to get into yer knickers."_

She should have obeyed Gene that day and stayed at her desk instead of ringing Lichfield and then falling into bed with him. Gene always knew best. He was Alex's best friend; the only person she could trust. She was pretty sure she was completely and utterly in love with him. She just wanted to be with him and be there for him, just as he always was for her. She had to somehow let him know how she felt.

Alex glanced at the clock again. Quarter past twelve. An hour and a quarter to go. She leant back into the sofa cushions and closed her eyes to have a long, hard, deep think.

At quarter to one, she opened her eyes again. She took a gulp of stone cold tea.

She had made her decision.

* * *

When Gene returned from the station at around twenty past six, he walked into the sitting room to see Alex huddled in the corner of the sofa, her legs tucked underneath her wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized jumper. She was staring into space but as soon as Gene walked into the room, she snapped out of her trance.

"Hi," she said.

"Alright, Bols?" he asked.

"Fine," she said quickly, brushing off his question. Gene was finding it very difficult to read her. She wasn't really displaying any emotion so he couldn't be entirely sure of the decision she had made. He decided not to press the issue just yet.

"Do you want a cuppa?" he asked.

"Ok," she replied. It was only as he set about making the tea that Gene realised that Alex had only spoken in monosyllables since he arrived back. As he waited for the kettle to boil, he casually leant against the kitchen counter and peered through the open doorway at Alex. Now that she thought no one was watching her, he face had taken on a pensive, faraway look. Her eyes were unguarded, open and honest and the storm of emotions churning in her soul was clearly visible. She absently chewed on her lip as she thought and she had subconsciously placed a hand over her stomach. Was she protecting the life growing inside? Was she trying to dull the sudden feeling of emptiness? Or, had she simply placed her hand there because that's where it was most comfortable in the position she was currently sitting in? Gene really couldn't tell. She was doing such a damn good job at hiding.

He shook himself as the water reached boiling point and he finished making the tea. He grabbed a packet of Pink Wafers and went back through to Alex. Again, she snapped out of her daze as soon as she sensed him in the room.

"Thanks," she said taking the mug from him and selecting a biscuit from the packet he held out to her. She took a couple of sips. Gene noticed that although she had attempted to become more animated since he had come back into the room her eyes still bore her soul.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" he asked gently, sitting on the sofa next to her after a few moments silence. Alex took a mouthful of tea, abandoned her biscuit and sighed. She closed her eyes and nodded, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knew he would ask her about it and in a way, he had a right to know, especially after everything he had done for her; all the support he had given to her.

"Yeah," she whispered after a pause. Gene knew not to prompt her. She would start talking in her own good time. There was a long moment of silence as Alex sat, collecting her thoughts. "I spent a long time just thinking about it. It was such a conflict in my head; like two voices screaming to be heard; like two sides fighting for survival. However, eventually, one side screamed louder than the other and won." She didn't speak after that. She looked at Gene, eyes wide and soulful. In that moment, he knew exactly which side had won.

"No more baby?" he asked gently.

"No more baby," she confirmed in a broken whisper. She didn't cry. She didn't feel as if she could; she didn't feel she had the right to. She sat snuggled against Gene for a while, revelling in his presence and the feeling of safety he held over her. She decided she should tell him more of the story; to try and somehow justify her actions, despite the fact that deep, deep down she knew she had come to the right decision. "When I got there, they checked me over to confirm the pregnancy and to see if I was fit for the operation. I...I had to tell them everything that had happened with Edward. They told me I was about fifteen weeks pregnant. However, I was also told there was a high risk of the pregnancy going wrong anyway because Edward used to hit me and push me down the stairs and also...also because of the amount of alcohol I drank in the earlier stages of the pregnancy..."

"Alcohol?" Gene asked. Alex sighed. That last reason had slipped out. She didn't really want to have to explain this, but she had to now.

"Sometimes...sometimes the only way to make what he did to me...bearable; to numb the pain, was to get drunk..." she confessed. "It didn't always work though and it just made me feel even more depressed. He cottoned on though, just over a week after I started, because I puked up a load of vodka..." she blushed. "He went ballistic. I'll spare you the details..." she looked down at her hands and swallowed. "After that, he would only let me drink water. If I needed a drink, I had to ask him. I guess that was the only one good thing he did for me. He stopped me from turning into an alcoholic."

"But you wouldn't have turned to drink if it weren't for him," Gene chipped in. Alex shrugged.

"Swings and roundabouts. Anyway, me getting drunk resulted in the pregnancy being put at risk." She bit back a sob.

"Oh, Bolly," Gene sighed.

"Now that I've had it done, I feel so relieved, but really, really guilty. The guilt nearly cancels out the relief," Alex told him sadly.

"You've just told me that there was a risk of something going wrong anyway, Bols. If you didn't have it done now, something could've gone wrong, say, four months on. Imagine how horrific that would have been, for you and the baby. You could have done the baby a favour. You probably know more about the effects of alcohol on a baby than me," he tried to comfort her. However, girly things like pregnancy weren't really his forte. Alex nodded. Gene saw her hands were shaking.

"The risk wouldn't have been there though if I hadn't got drunk all those times."

"And I've just told you, you wouldn't have got drunk if Lichfield wasn't a woman beating bastard," Gene reminded her. Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Listen, Bols, it's done now. There's nothing you can do now. You just need to try and put it behind you and look to the future. You need to get on with your life and forget the last year or so."

"I know," she replied. "That's easier said than done though. Gene, that baby would have had fingernails and toenails and hair and eyelashes and eyebrows _and I killed it!"_ Alex felt the tears of helplessness well in her eyes. Gene knew words wouldn't comfort her now. However, maybe actions would. Very gently, he tilted her chin so she was looking at him. He cupped her face in one hand as a tear spilt over from the corner of her eye.

"I'm here for you," he said softly, wiping the tear away with his thumb and moving his head closer to hers. As their lips met, a spark of electricity shot through them both, starting from their lips and warming their entire bodies. They savoured each other and mentally compared it to that first kiss a few months back that had lead to that ill fated but mind blowingly incredible one night stand. Whereas that one had been fiery and heated and hungry, this kiss was soft and deep and passionate.

Alex closed her eyes and opened her mouth for him as Gene gently bit her bottom lip. His hand moved from cupping her face and round the back of her neck to tangle in her hair. His other arm moved round her waist and pulled her closer to him, anchoring her to him tightly. She could feel his touch and the sensation of his lips soothing her and smoothing out the kinks and worries that she harboured. The guilt of her earlier actions still lingered but it was somewhat neutralised by the kiss. She tangled both her arms round him and held him tightly to her. He was being so gentle and loving that she almost started crying.

Eventually, they both had to break away for air, but they followed the kiss with a tender brush of the lips. Alex rested her forehead against his, feeling dizzy and breathless and completely in love with the man who currently had his arm round her waist, holding her as close to him as possible.

"Well, I think we've both wanted that for a while," he whispered throatily after a while.

"I know _I_ have," she murmured back, "but Gene?"

"Yes, Bolly?"

"Are you just saying that because you feel sorry for me?"

"Of course not, Bols," he said, bringing his hand back round to cup her face. "I _do_ feel sorry for you, but I mean what I said. I have wanted to do that for ages."

"Me too." She gave a small smile and their lips met again softly.

They sat on the sofa, just cuddling for a while. Gene, Alex decided, was very good at cuddling. However, after a while, the painkillers that had been pumped into her during and after her operation earlier that day began to wear off. She shuffled uncomfortably.

"You ok?" Gene asked lazily. He had actually been getting very comfortable, relaxed and snuggled up to Bolly.

"Do you have any paracetamol?" she asked, resting a hand over her stomach.

"I think there might be some aspirin in the bathroom cupboard. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, this is normal. They said I could get stomach cramps for up to a week afterwards," she explained, bringing her knees to her chest to try and block out the pain as she scrunched her face up against it.

"I'll go and get you something," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting up from the sofa. He came back a few minutes later, holding a glass of water with a tablet fizzing in it, looking like a mini snowstorm.

"Thanks," she said as he handed her the glass. She gulped back the contents, grimacing as she got to the chalky residue at the bottom. She leant back on the sofa sighing and covered her face with her hands.

"You don't look too perky, Bols. Do you need a lie down?"

"No, I'm fine. It's just the pain and the tiredness and the guilt," she said faintly.

"Come on," he said, resuming his earlier position next to her on the sofa. "I know the guilt won't be easy to get rid of-"

"It will never go away."

"Right. But it will get easier as time goes on. Me Mam used to say that time is the best healer, and believe me, she knew what she was on about. You just need to try and put it behind you."

"I know you're right," Alex sighed, "but like I said, easier said than done."

"It'll get easier," he promised her again.

* * *

Later that evening, they sat together on the sofa watching an old black and white film. Gene had managed to persuade Alex to eat something and once her awful tummy cramps had been soothed by the aspirin, they had both sat down with a bowl of tomato soup. Now, Alex was dressed in her pyjamas and curled around Gene who rested his chin on her head as neither of them paid the film any attention.

When Alex's face split into a yawn for the third time in the space of a few minutes, Gene aimed the remote at the telly and turned it off.

"Bedtime, Bolly. Yer shattered."

She was too tired to protest as he gently picked her up, carried her through to the bedroom and placed her under the covers.

She was already half asleep when Gene climbed in next to her five minutes later, but she sleepily rolled over to his side of the bed and cuddled up next to him as he flicked off the light.

The last thing Alex was aware of before she drifted off to sleep was Gene's lips on the crown of her head and his hand tracing soothing patterns on her palm.

* * *

**Hmmm...Not too sure about this chapter!**

**Please note though, I do realise the procedure Alex went through for her operation in this chapter _isn't_ the procedure that would be carried out in real life, but for the purposes of this fic, and the fact I need it to move on quickly, please accept I may have used a little bit of artistic license!**

**I hope you enjoyed it though! Please review and let me know what you thought-They really do make me smile! Thanks if you're still reading...I love you! *Sends you a virtual hug from me and another one from Gene and maybe one from Alex too* :p**

**xxx**


	10. Chapter Nine: I'm With You

**Well, I have recovered enough to actually proof read a chapter (Tumblr people know what I'm on about :p), so here we are...**

* * *

The next few days saw Alex in a strange mood. Gene would often catch her resting her hand on her stomach and staring sadly off into space, or looking down at the distinct lack of baby bump that would slowly be beginning to become obvious had she made a different decision. He would come home from work to find her sat on the sitting room floor with her back against the sofa, covering her face with her hands and shaking with guilt. Sometimes, he would wake in the middle of the night to find Alex sitting up in bed with her chin resting on her knees, which were drawn up to her chest as she stared into the middle distance, a tear or two shimmering on her pale face.

And, just as Gene was getting really worried about her and considering making her go to the doctor, she would completely surprise him. She would bound to the door as soon as he got home, throw her arms around him and give him a hungry, loving kiss. She would chat easily and joke with him. On the day that she regained access to her bank account, she went out shopping, restocked the cupboards and made him dinner as a thank you.

She really was in a strange mood and he began to wonder if he should be worried about these erratic mood swings. He had heard about all sorts of things that made people behave like this-depression, bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder...Could she have any of those? However, a phone call to Annie in Manchester assured him otherwise-it was probably just her way of dealing with the guilt, grief and sense of failure caused by the abortion, as well as the stress and trauma of her relationship with Edward. He should only worry if she was still acting like it a couple of months down the line.

Sure enough, about a week and a half after the abortion, Alex's mood seemed to settle down. She would no longer shake with tears and guilt, nor would she come running to the door as soon as Gene returned home.

* * *

One late Sunday afternoon, two or so weeks after Alex's mood had calmed, they were in the kitchen, talking. Alex was sat on the countertop and Gene was sat in one of the dining chairs.

"Bolly," he said seriously, "you've been back for about a month now. Don't you think it's time we told the others you're home?"

"I don't know," she looked down at her lap, biting her lip. "I'm not really sure if I want anyone to know yet."

"Why not?"

"I'm just...Well, I'm ashamed by what happened," she admitted.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault."

"It was. I should have stopped it earlier. I should have told someone; I should have stood my ground; I shouldn't have let him control me. And then there's what I did when I found out I was pregnant..." she explained, chewing on her fingernail. This was a habit she had picked up whilst being with Edward, one she really needed to break or she'd have no nails left.

"Alex, you can't dwell on that. You did the right thing in the end; you came home. As for the baby, well, if you ask me, you were in no fit state to be a mum then and to be brutally honest, Bols, I still don't think you are now."

Gene's words stung Alex slightly. However, she knew he was right. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to look after herself properly, yet alone herself and a child. She was suffering nightmares, insecurities and lack of sleep and appetite. He was right. That was one of the things she loved about Gene, his honesty. He didn't mince his words. She nodded slowly.

"Does the team have any reason to suspect I'm back?"

"Sort of. I've had a sudden change of mood since you've been back and that's carried on at work too."

"How do you mean?"

"I was completely miserable bastard when you were gone. Now that you're back, I'm happier and they've noticed. They're actually not as thick as they look," he joked half heartedly.

"Well, what have you told them?"

"Not much. I've dropped a couple of hints about pulling a new bird. Not exactly a lie," he grinned at her. She gave a small smile in return.

"Right," she nodded.

"I think they know it's more than that. They're just too scared to ask me."

"Gene?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you really miss me?"

"Yeah. I was bloody lonely," he admitted quietly. Then, he completely surprised her. He stood from his seat, crossed the room to where Alex was on the countertop and held her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. She returned the hug, resting her chin on his head and gently stroking his hair. "There was something wrong, I could just feel it and I was so worried about you."

Alex closed her eyes. Since she had returned from America, she had been so wrapped up in her own misery that she hadn't even stopped to think about how her absence had affected Gene.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. He lifted his head from her shoulder. Alex looked into his eyes and smoothed his hair back. He leant in to kiss her, drawing comfort from her. When they pulled back for air, he hugged her close again and Alex rested her chin on his shoulder, staring out the window. Suddenly, she froze. She pushed Gene away, jumped off the worktop and ran to the window, leaning against the glass to see out. She pushed it open and stuck her head out, trying to get a better look at the road.

"Bolly, shut the bloody window. It's freezing," Gene grumbled from behind her, annoyed at having been pushed away, especially after being so open with her.

"Sorry," she apologised, sliding the window shut. "I thought I saw..."

"What?"

"Never mind. Sorry," she said, kissing him fully on the lips to make up for pushing him away.

"What did you see?"

"Nothing. I'm being silly," she replied. Gene let the matter drop and pushed her against the wall, kissing her with enthusiasm. She was obviously forgiven then. They broke apart and there was a long moment when they gazed into each other's eyes.

Alex knew in that moment that, although she had made a horrible mistake in leaving Gene behind and trapping herself in an unhappy, abusive relationship, and although the guilt she harboured at killing her unborn child would never fully leave her, he would help her through everything. He would be there for her and support her. He was everything she ever needed. Without breaking eye contact with him, Alex took Gene's hand in her own. He gently brushed her cheek with the back of his free hand.

Both seemingly made an agreement through their intense gaze. They brushed lips again and Gene squeezed Alex's hand and led her out of the kitchen and into the bedroom.

They both knew what was going to happen and they took their time. They had both been waiting so long to do this properly that a few minutes extra wouldn't make much difference.

Alex reached up and placed the tenderest of kisses on Gene's lips, lacing her fingers in his hair. They pulled apart and gazed into each other's eyes.

"Alex..."

"Yes," she breathed, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. This was all the confirmation Gene needed. He kissed her slowly and gently walked her backwards to the bed, where he laid her down and continued to brush her lips with his.

They slowly undressed each other and kissed and explored and caressed every inch of one another's bodies. It was languorous and sensual as they finally gave in to what had been bubbling away below the surface ever since their first night together. It seemed so, so long ago now.

For Alex, it was such a stark contrast to her horrible experiences with Edward over those awful seven months; a surprise because Gene was being so gentle and loving; the opposite of their last time, when he was possessive and hungry. For Gene, it was reassurance. The way Alex held him and looked at him confirmed that she was deadly serious about this.

Afterwards, they rested in each other's arms, both content and happy. Alex rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow to look at Gene. His eyes lazily flickered open as he sensed her watching him. Without saying anything, he reached out and cupped her face with his hand, gently brushing his thumb over her lips and jaw line. Alex smiled at him and he pulled her back down next to him and pressed his lips to hers.

"I love you." He said it so quietly that Alex wasn't sure she had heard him at first. However, the way he was looking at her, so unguarded, said it all. She felt her eyes well up.

"I love you too," she whispered back.

That was the first time either of them vocalised their deepest feelings for one another.

* * *

The next morning, the alarm clock pulled them from their peaceful slumber. Still a tangled mass of limbs, they smiled at each other.

"Morning," Gene murmured, reaching out of bed to jab the alarm off.

"Good morning," she smiled back, kissing the corner of his mouth. Gene stretched lazily and pulled Alex in for a hug, idly tracing patterns down her spine. She winced as he accidently pressed too hard on one of the more angry bruises that was taking an abnormally long amount of time to heal.

"Sorry, Bolly," he said, very gently stroking the painful area and kissing her temple.

"Don't worry," she whispered. They passed a few moments in a blissful silence.

"Bolly?"

"Yes?"

"You're not going to drop any bombshells this morning, are you?" Alex smiled faintly.

"No."

"No long lost relatives in Australia? No secret membership to the Russian Mafia?"

"No," she smiled again.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Good."

"Do you _really have _to go into work today?" asked Alex, the tiniest hint of a wine in her voice.

"'Fraid so."

"Can't you ring in ill?"

"The Gene-Genie doesn't get ill," he pouted.

"Are you sure I can't change your mind?" she purred, climbing on top of him and trailing kisses down his neck. Gene closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her on top of him; her soft, warm lips on his skin and very nearly gave in to her. However, just as he felt his resolve weakening, he rolled over so he was pinning her to the bed.

"No can do, Bols. We're half way through a murder case and Raymondo is in grave danger of cocking it up."

"Please...?"

"No," he smirked, trying to climb off Alex and out of bed but failing because she pulled him back down on top of her. "Bolly..."

"Yes?" she asked, all wide eyed and innocent.

"If I promise you an early night tonight, will you let me get up?"

"Only if we can stay in bed all next Sunday as well," she bargained. Gene pretended to think about it.

"If we must," he sighed, although he absolutely loved the idea. "_Now_, can I get up?"

"Ok," she said wistfully but with a cheeky glint in her eye. Gene planted a kiss on her lips and then using all his willpower, climbed off Alex and went to shower.

"I'll get you some breakfast," she called after him, dragging her lazy, sleepy body out of bed, throwing on her dressing gown and going into the kitchen.

She filled the kettle with enough water for two cups of tea and threw some bacon under the grill. She leant against the counter and smiled. Last night had been fantastic, she felt more relaxed than she had done in weeks, despite everything. It was the first time they had slept together, as in _slept together, _since they had become a proper couple. Up until then, they hadn't really got past the steamy kissing-and-feeling-each-other-up stage on the sofa. Alex smiled as she realised they had been like a pair of teenagers, both wanting to take the next step but both a little too scared to. However, when they had finally taken the step, it had been such a contrast to that night a few months back. In a way, it had been more loving and gentle but Alex guessed that was because they could afford to get even more attached to each other now, whereas before they had been unable to because she had been with Edward.

As for this morning, Alex hadn't wanted to make Gene stay in bed with her just because she wanted sex. It was partly because, when he left the house in the morning, she was left alone and when she was left alone, she had time to think. That was when the guilt and the fear at everything she had done and everything that had happened snuck up on her. She wanted Gene around because he was the only person who could soothe away the worries. However, she appreciated that he still had a job to do. Speaking of jobs, she thought, she had probably better start looking for one of her own. She had been back home for about a month now and she was going to go mad if she had to continue to sit around the flat all day.

Hearing the water boil, Alex poured the tea, flipped the bacon over and cut some bread. Gene walked into the kitchen, buttoning up his shirt as he went.

"Smells good," he commented.

"Good," she smiled.

"When did you get so good at cooking?" he asked.

"Don't sound so surprised!" she exclaimed, giggling.

"Well?"

"University," explained Alex. "As a student, on the rare occasion you could actually afford proper food, you had to make the most of it," she grinned.

"Oh dear," he said.

"Before you feel _too _sorry for me though, most of my money was spent of clothes, alcohol and partying," she smiled.

"Oh yeah? What did you get up to at these uni parties?" he asked with a smirk.

"Hmm..." she pondered, "well, there was the time I woke up in bed with two other girls..." she said, presenting him with a bacon sandwich and a mug of sweet tea. She laughed as she saw his eyes pop. "_Fully _clothed, so you can get _that_ idea out of your head," she said, sitting opposite him with her own breakfast. Gene looked a little disappointed. "Anyway, speaking of not being able to afford things, I'm going to start looking for a job today."

"Hold yer horses, Bols. A little birdie at the station told me a few weeks ago that CID's budget is being extended to accommodate a second DI..."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yep, and yer desk is still only being used as a dumping ground for unloved paperwork..."

"Well, I'll think about it," she said, although she knew she would leap on the job as soon as it came up.

"Liar," he smirked. "You'll be back behind that desk this time next month."

"Caught red handed!"

"You do realise though if you want yer old job back, the others are going to have to know you're home?"

"Tell them then," she said simply.

"Today?"

"Today."

"Do you want to come in with me this morning then?" Gene asked.

"Thanks, but I was going to start looking for somewhere to live today as well."

"Come again?"

"Well, I can't keep relying on you to dig me out of my problems."

"Bolly, you can stay here, you daft mare."

"Really?" her eyes lit up.

"Yep. If I had known how good at cooking you were, I'd have moved you in long ago."

"Cheeky," she exclaimed, giving him a playful kick under the table.

"That's not the only think you're good at either..." he winked suggestively at her. "So, is that a yes then?"

"Of course!" She walked round the table, sat on his lap and covered his mouth with hers.

"Gene?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we buy a bigger wardrobe?"

Gene just laughed and pulled her in for another kiss.

* * *

Half an hour later, Alex said goodbye to Gene and went and freshened herself up and pulled some clothes on. She sat in the sitting room and tried to decide what to cook for dinner that night. Despite the fact that when she had been working with CID she had held quite forthright feminist views, she actually loved cooking for Gene. She felt that it was her way of repaying him for everything he had done for her. Especially in the last few weeks, she felt that it had given her a purpose; something to do. Eventually deciding Lancashire hotpot was good enough to feed her Manchester born-and-bred man, she checked what ingredients were already in the house, going and sitting back on the sofa to make a list of the ones she still had to buy. As she scribbled, she tried to keep the gnawing sense of guilt and the distinct feeling of emptiness in her lower stomach to the side of her mind.

Once she had completed her food shopping list, Alex added a few basics such as milk and bread to it. Deciding that if she was going to be starting work again soon she would have to look presentable, she scrawled _'more makeup; hairspray; more hairgrips' _to the end of the list.

Just as Alex was about to pull on her jacket and pick up her handbag, there was a knock on the door.

* * *

Gene was sat in his office, signing off a very long winded report about the murder case. The team had finally found the necessary evidence to nail the jealous ex-wife (Gene had suspected her all along, even when all leads pointed to the sister-in-law) and she had been questioned and charged with premeditated murder.

He looked up at the team. They had got over the initial surprise of him telling them that Alex was back and after asking a few questions, many of which Gene had answered as vaguely as he could because they were asking _why_ Alex was back, they had gone back to work. Gene knew that with the new DI post coming up, he would have to swoop quickly to ensure Alex got the job. He was intending to ring the Super and inform him of Alex's return-he knew the Super had been sad to see Alex leave and missed her policing skills massively-and suggesting the position was offered back to Alex. Just as he was about to pick up the phone though, Viv tapped on the glass door. Gene motioned him to enter.

"Guv, I've just had a phone call from a lady about a disturbance and a suspected abduction in the flat above hers."

Gene sighed. He had been hoping for an easy, quiet day so he could get back to Bolly early. He saw his plans go floating out the window.

"Whereabouts?" he asked

"A small block of flats on Alfred Street."

At Viv's words, Gene's blood froze in his veins. _"Keep calm," _he told himself. _"There's at least two other blocks on that road."_ He shook himself. "Which building?" he asked out loud.

"Number fourteen. The woman, a Mrs Chester I think, said she heard a crash, a man shouting and then a woman screaming. She said the man sounded American, but she wasn't too sure."

At this, Gene's heart turned to ice.

"Bolly," he whispered. His heart was thudding in his ears and to his shock and horror, he found his hands were shaking. He took a deep breath and managed to shake himself out of the fear induced trance he found himself in. He got up from his desk and rushed from the room, calling Ray and Chris to follow him.

* * *

Alex opened the door and the pretty smile she had been wearing immediately fell from her face. She felt like a hole had been ripped open in her chest as her face paled.

"Hello, Alex," smirked Edward, leaning against the doorframe. Alex was unable to speak. Her stomach had turned to the consistency of water and her mouth was bone dry. She slowly shook her head in disbelief.

"No," she eventually managed to croak. "No, you...you can't..."

"Yes, Alex, I'm here," he said, "and I've missed you, Baby," he said, chirpily. Finally coming to her senses, Alex went to shut the door on him but he pushed it so hard that she stumbled backwards and the door swung open again and hit the wall with a crash. "Don't you dare!" he shouted as she tried to run towards the bathroom and lock herself in. He grabbed her round the waist, took a fistful of her hair in his hand and yanked her head back so his lips were level with her ear. "Don't you dare run away from me again, you slut," he yelled so loudly that it made Alex's ear ring. He whacked her head against the wall and she screamed in pain. Dazed and confused, Alex began to cry, screaming through her sobs as he hit her head again and again. Edward reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a sharp, deadly looking knife. He pressed the blade against her throat. This shocked the sobs and screams into ceasing and her breathing hitched. "Now then, Alex," he said, his voice dangerously soft, "you're going to come with me and if you utter so much as a squeak, I'll slit your throat so wide, your pulse will be all over the floor in seconds. Understand?" Alex nodded; feeling woozy with what she suspected was concussion. "Good," Edward snarled. "Walk down the stairs and out to my car. When you're there, sit in the passenger seat and do _nothing,"_ he ordered, kissing her neck. Alex shuddered and he jabbed her in the back with the point of the knife, not enough to make her bleed but enough to leave an indent on her skin through her clothes. With tears trickling silently down her face, Alex began to slowly walk. As she turned her back on him, she didn't see Edward reach into her handbag that stood on the telephone cabinet, rifle through it and grin in triumph as he pulled out her passport and slotted it into his back pocket.

She stepped outside, her heart in her mouth and very aware of Edward's gaze burning into her back. He unlocked the sleek black Mercedes, the one he always drove whilst in England; the one Alex had thought she had seen out of the kitchen window yesterday and broken her embrace with Gene to run to the window to get a better look at. However, she thought her eyes had been tricking her then. It turned out they hadn't. She hesitated.

"Don't keep me waiting," Edward whispered in her ear. Her vision blurred with tears, Alex opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. He leant in after her, pushing her so the top half of her body was leant forwards. He gathered her hands behind her back, pulled a length of rope from his pocket and tied her wrists in place. The rope cut into Alex's skin and she felt both her hands tingling as the blood supply was cut off as she sat back up. "Not a sound," he hissed, pushing the lock down on the door and slamming it shut on her. He walked round the car and slid into the driver's seat. "Now, Alex, I'm going to come straight out with it," Edward explained as they drove. "You're coming back to California with me, even if I have to drag you by the hair, kicking and screaming."

"No. No way, Edward," Alex spat, trying to wiggle her hands out the rope.

"I told you not to make a sound," he snapped. Alex had a feeling that if it weren't for the fact he was driving, he would have hit her.

"You _will _come back to Carmel with me; our wedding _will _happen and you _will _learn to be a good, obedient little wife and do everything I say."

* * *

**Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry *hides from onslaught of various sharp/blunt/heavy items***

**However, please let me know what you thought because reviews make me happy _and_ motivate Gene to rescue people...! :)**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**xxx**


	11. Chapter Ten: Nobody's Home

**This chapter is quite short compared to otheres...Also, it's not the best offering in the world! Still, I hope you enjoy it...As much as you can enjoy this chapter! I may have employed my artistic license again when it comes to flights/airports...You'll see :p**

**Please review when you're done reading!**

* * *

Gene stared in horror at the scene before him. His front door was ajar and there was an eerie, quiet emptiness about the place.

"Bolly?" he called, running into the flat, ignoring Ray and Chris who were stood behind him. "Bolly?" he checked the bedroom and the bathroom. He knew, in his heart, she wasn't here, but maybe if he called loud enough; wished it hard enough, she would materialise. "Alex!" He checked the kitchen and saw that the breakfast stuff had been washed up. "ALEX!" He checked the sitting room last. He saw that on the coffee table sat a pen and a notebook, open, with a shopping list scrawled on the page in her curvy scribble.

With his pulse racing in his ears, Gene slumped on the sofa, face in his hands, heart in his mouth, and tried to collect his thoughts. Once he felt steady and composed enough, he went back out into the hallway. Chris and Ray were studying a part of the wall behind the door.

"Guv, look at this," Ray called him over. Gene went to see what it was that they were finding so interesting about the wall. He saw that some of the paint had flaked off and a section of plaster had been chipped away. "I'm thinking that Drake opened the door, saw it was Lichfield and tried to shut it on him, only he forced it open again before she could, which is why the lock isn't broken."

"I think you could be right, Ray," Gene agreed. Suddenly, something occurred to him which made him tremble in his boots. Lichfield must have been here for a reason, and that reason was probably to make Alex go back to California with him. Slowly, he walked over to the sideboard in the hallway and picked up Alex's handbag. He unzipped it and rifled through the contents. Purse, tissues, keys, pen, sunglasses, lip balm, cheque book...He opened the drawer in the sideboard, peered in and then shut it again. He went into the bedroom and searched through all the pockets on Alex's clothes.

"What is it, Guv?" Chris asked as Gene came back out into the hallway, ashen faced.

"Her passport's gone," he croaked, his mouth dry. He tried to swallow before he went on. "Lichfield, he's going to force her back to America. We have to find her, and fast." Chris and Ray nodded. They didn't know the full story behind why Alex came back. The Guv had been vague and said something about an argument and a bitter break up, but they knew it must be bad if he looked this worried. Gene exhaled a long breath and then pulled his radio from his pocket.

"Shaz?"

"Here, Guv."

"Can you check when all the flights are that leave for California in the next twenty four hours from all the London airports? Try and find out if Edward Lichfield is booked on any of them. Can you send a couple of officers over to fourteen Alfred Street to interview Mrs Chester and take a formal statement? She lives on the second floor. Also, get forensics to my flat."

"Will do, Guv," replied Shaz over the airwaves. Gene returned his radio to his pocket.

"Where would Lichfield take her in the meantime?" Chris wondered out loud.

"I don't know, Chris. He has quite a few connections in London, but as far as I know, they're all legit businessmen. Really, it could be anywhere."

"Was there anywhere in specific that Alex mentioned?" asked Ray, desperate to help Gene find Alex.

"Well, there's that building that we investigated last year, but that's all been converted into flats now. Bolly said something about some offices once and she also said he owns a flat somewhere that he lives in whenever he's in London," Gene replied. The thing was, he genuinely had no idea where Edward would take Alex. That made him feel so bloody useless, like he wasn't doing his job properly. His worry and longing for Alex was growing by the second and he just wanted a clear lead so he could start trying to find her. He felt he should be out there doing something productive that would help find Bolly. She had told him how scared of Lichfield she was and Gene couldn't stand the thought of her suffering. Lichfield could be doing anything to her right now. From what he had heard, the bastard was ruthless. Alex had told Gene that in Edward's company, she had been hit, slapped, punched, raped, shouted at, suffocated and strangled, starved and pushed down the stairs. She had even told him that once, Edward had filled the bath up with water and held her head under. Alex was convinced the only thing that stopped Lichfield holding her under the water until she passed out, or worse, drowned, was the fact that one of his staff had knocked on the locked door to tell him he had a business partner on the phone.

Gene shuddered to think about what could be happening to Alex right this second whilst he was just standing around in an empty flat doing nothing. He felt the panic begin to bubble in his throat, but he managed to suppress it. If he was going to find her, he had to stay calm and think through the list of possible locations logically.

Shortly after Lichfield's case had been solved last year, he had gone ahead and converted the trashy, run down building into several luxury flats, all of which had been snapped up almost immediately by the likes of Arabian royals, a businessman and his wife and a handful of posh toffs. So, Lichfield couldn't hide her there. Gene thought to the offices Alex had once mentioned. It was a Monday morning, so the chances were they'd be full of employees so Edward couldn't take Alex there without arousing suspicion. That just left the flat. The one Alex had said was ten stories up and was near the city centre. It was big and it was private, there would be no one else there. Gene knew that it was a long shot and it would take him a long time, time that could be spent looking for clearer leads, to drive deeper into London because of the traffic, but it was worth a try. He was willing to do anything; go anywhere to get Alex back. He pulled his radio out of his pocket again.

"Shaz, get me the address of Lichfield's flat. It's somewhere near Central London. I think that's were Alex could be."

"On it, Guv. Also, I've just checked out those flights you asked me to."

"Go on."

"The only London airport that flies to LA is Heathrow. There are no flights departing for California until tomorrow and most of them are fully booked and Lichfield isn't on them. However, there is one that still has a handful of spaces left. Also, just in case, I've contacted border control and told them to keep an eye out and not to let Lichfield out the country."

"Shaz, you're a star," Gene praised her, relief washing over him. If he could have seen Shaz at that point, he would have seen her blushing from the roots of her hair and a small smile lighting up her young face at his out of character praise. Gene inwardly gave a sigh of relief. He had _some _time to find Alex. "Let me know as soon as you have that address," he finished.

"Will do, Guv."

* * *

Alex didn't know how long she had been sitting where she was. She had lost all sense of time due to the fact Edward had drawn the thick, heavy curtains on the huge window that should have given her a breathtaking view over London.

Once they had reached their destination, Edward had hauled her out the car, grasped the knife in his hand and draped his raincoat over his arm so it was hidden from view, should anyone walk past. However, he made sure it was pointed at the small of Alex's back as he made her walk. Once they had got through the door, he had led her to the bedroom where he had pushed her on the bed, unbuttoned her top and kissed her all over. The feel of his cold, slimy lips on her bare skin, which still tingled from Gene's gentle touch, made her shudder. He had run the blade of her knife down across her chest, over her stomach and stopped at the waistband of her jeans. It wasn't enough to cut her, but it still hurt and the cool metal against her soft skin felt dangerous. However, at the time, Alex had been convinced he was going to cut her and had screwed her eyes shut, breathing shallowly and thinking of Gene.

After that, Edward had flipped her onto her stomach, pushing her face into the pillow until her ears were ringing and she was on the brink of unconsciousness. He had released her, allowing her to drink in precious oxygen and then cut the rope from her wrists, nicking the skin as he did so and causing a thin stream of blood. He had ordered her to button her blouse back up and had then produced a pair of handcuffs, cuffed her right wrist to the headboard, drawn the curtains and stalked from the room.

Now, Alex was sat on the bed with her right hand incapable of movement. Her wrist was raw and painful from where she had tried, in vain, to wiggle out of the handcuffs. The tears of despair had been and gone. She had cried them out quietly, not wanting to give Edward the satisfaction of hearing her heart wrenching sobs.

Her mind drifted to Gene. Her love for him over the past few weeks had absolutely flourished. She knew it all was a complete and utter cliché, but he made her feel secure when she wanted to break down; loved when she was lonely; safe when she was scared. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She couldn't imagine living out the rest of her life any other way, but by the looks of things, she was going to have to. She knew, without a doubt that Edward was going to get her back to California one way or another. How long had she been gone? Would Gene have noticed by now? When Edward was in the hallway with her, banging her head against the wall, Alex had vaguely clocked herself screaming and crying. She hoped it had been enough to rouse the suspicion of the people who lived on the other two floors of Gene's building.

Surely Gene would find her? Surely he would rescue her? He always did.

Unbidden, a sob escaped her lips, followed by a steady stream of tears. Through her anguish, she heard the sound of a key in the lock. The door opened and Edward came in, carrying a plate in one hand. He came and sat next to her on the bed.

"Stop crying," he ordered. Alex ignored him, looking down at her lap and watching through misty eyes as her jeans became dampened by the tears rolling off her face and onto her lap. "I said stop crying," Edward hissed, slapping her sharply round the face. The action, although no surprise to Alex, shocked the sobs into ceasing, although the tears still flowed. "I brought you something to eat. You're going to need to eat. You need your strength and energy for what's going to be happening in the next few days," he said, holding out the plate, upon which was a sandwich. Alex refused to take it, still looking down at her lap. "Come on, Alex," he reasoned.

"I'm not hungry," she snapped.

"Just eat it."

"No."

"Fine. I'm not going to argue with you, Alex. I'm not in the mood." He put the plate on the bedside table and roughly pushed her back onto the bed. He delivered a swift slap across her cheek before leaning down to kiss her. Alex tried to fight back. She knew what was coming and despite the fact that it had happened to her many times before, the fear still gripped her heart and squeezed all the air out of her body. As hard as she tried though, Lichfield was sat on her legs and she only had her left arm free. Edward's hands moved to her jeans and unbuttoned them, pulling them down just far enough so he had access to what he wanted. He pulled his own trousers down and knelt back over her. She couldn't help it. She whimpered in fear. He smirked at her, gazing down into her face, so full of fear and panic, and kissed her again. He placed a pillow over her face, pushing down. She felt himself painfully forcing himself into her.

"_What if I get pregnant again?" _her mind screamed at her. However, fortunately for her, a silent, black curtain swept across her mind before she could take the worry any further.

* * *

"Right, Shaz, thanks," Gene said, before returning the radio to his pocket. They now had an address for Lichfield. He knew there was a fairly large chance that he wouldn't be at his flat, but at the moment, it was Gene's only hope of finding Alex. He was growing increasingly worried about her. He didn't think he would be able to stand losing her again. He thought back to that agonising month she had been in America. The hole she had left in his life had been gaping. No amount of work or Scotch could fill it. He felt he had been on the brink of a meltdown. She hadn't been there to keep him stable. She hadn't been there to reassure him or brighten his day or spark off him. He had had a glimpse of what his life would be like without Alex and he hadn't liked it. He knew he couldn't get by without Alex in his world. He had to find her.

With a burst of adrenalin and fresh motivation, he ordered Ray and Chris to follow him and raced out of his flat, down the stairs and into the Quattro.

* * *

**If you thought that chapter was bad, wait until you read the next one...Hehehehe, I know what's going to happen and you don't! Hehehhehe.**

**Right, funny moment over, I need to ask you guys something. I have already proposed this on Tumblr and got some positive feedback, but for those of you who don't have Tumblr or don't follow me or didn't see the post, I was wondering if anyone would like me to post a little 'companion' to this fic. It would be made up of 'deleted scenes' which I would post in no particular order. I say this because this fic spans over quite a large time period (about ten months as it currently stands), and there was so much I wanted to put in, but couldn't because I needed the story to move on quickly, but I still think should be mentioned. Just an idea...Let me know what you think!**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and sticking with me! Please review and let me know what you thought-I always smile when I get reviews!**

**xxxx**


	12. Chapter Eleven: I Love You

***Hides in secret underground shelter***

* * *

She felt dirty. That was the first thing Alex registered as the first droplets of consciousness began to trickle back into her brain. She felt used and filthy.

She became aware of a pain on her cheek; a burning sting. The side of her head was also beginning to throb from where it had been hit earlier.

Despite the fact that her eyes felt heavy, she heaved them open. She blinked a couple of times as her eyes adjusted to the room. She was lying flat on her back on the bed with her right wrist still cuffed to the headboard, raw and sore. She looked around. The sandwich Edward had presented to her lay untouched and beginning to curl on the bedside table. The pillow he had used to smother her now lay next to her. However, there was no sign of the man himself. That was in some ways a relief, but she still had no idea of the time.

Then, Alex remembered what Edward had done to her before she had passed out from oxygen starvation. She remembered letting out a cry of fear and hearing him grunting above her. Awkwardly, Alex lifted her hips off the bed and pulled her underwear and jeans back round her hips, using her left hand to clumsily fumble with the button and the zip until they were fastened and she was decent again. Then, she slowly eased herself into a sitting position, wincing as her shoulder let her know it didn't appreciate the stress position it had been forced into for so long.

Her mind wandered to what she had been worrying about before she passed out.

"_What if I get pregnant again?"_

She took a couple of deep breaths and tried to think about it logically. She slowly worked out that she was at a safe time in her cycle so, really, she shouldn't be in danger of being pregnant. However, she knew it was a risky judgement to make so she tried to console herself with the fact that Edward hadn't used protection for those horrible seven months and she hadn't got pregnant straight away-only three or four months in.

She swallowed, trying to move her thoughts away from pregnancy and on to how she was going to get out of this mess. She strained once again at the handcuffs but only succeeded in agitating her bloodied, painful wrist. It was hopeless. She couldn't move. She just had to pray to god that Gene was looking for her. She closed her eyes and imagined he was holding her tightly. She could hear his heart thudding. She could feel his arms around her. She could smell him. His body warmed her.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

Alex opened her eyes and felt the tears gather as she realised he wasn't with her. Defeated, she lay back down.

He probably didn't even know where she was.

She must have fallen into some sort of sleep because then next thing she was aware of was the sound of the door opening. She heard muffled footsteps on the carpet coming towards her. She didn't bother looking up. She knew exactly who it was.

She felt the bed dip as Edward perched on the edge. She felt his fingertips gently tracing patterns on her thigh.

"It hurts me to have to do this to you," he murmured. She still didn't look at him. She didn't speak to him. "I hate having to do this to you, to force you at knifepoint to follow me; to have to chain you to the bed so you won't run."

"_Why are you doing it then?" _Alex hissed inside her head.

"I do care about you, Alex, but you keep disobeying me. I told you not to leave the house when I was gone, but you did and you ran back to England and into the arms of Gene Hunt, whilst we were _engaged_. You need to be taught that a woman's purpose in life is to listen to and obey men," he continued, rambling in his Californian drawl. Aside from stiffening slightly, Alex made no reaction to his sexist comment. Edward continued to stroke her thigh. "I'm teaching you that now, by doing this, and when we're married, you'll learn some more. Trust me, Sweetheart, it's all for your own good."

Alex, still not looking at him, thought back to his earlier mood and actions. The spite and the anger and the need for power. Now, he was being calm and almost gentle. When Alex had been studying psychology at university, one of the greatest debates she had come up against with her peers was whether Multiple Personality Disorder was true or not. After much reading up on the condition and reviewing case studies such as the famous Thigpen and Cleckley study of Eve White and Eve Black, she had come to the conclusion that she didn't believe in MPD. She thought it was a myth. This belief had stayed with her ever since, until now. Now, with Edward, she was almost certain she was in the presence of an individual with at least two different personalities. However, it could just have been the fear clouding her judgement. He could have just been a psychotic nutter. Taking a deep breath, but still not looking at Lichfield, Alex spoke.

"Edward, I think you need some help."

"How do you mean?" he asked. His voice was neutral. Alex mentally prepared herself. That meant his mood could go either way. She finally turned her head to look at him. He was sat, staring intensely at her. With a jolt, Alex saw he wasn't using his fingers to trace patterns on her thigh. Oh no. He was using the tip of the knife. She willed herself to stay calm.

"I mean I think you're ill. Not physically though." She looked at him, trying to keep her expression normal. She didn't want to prompt a foul mood. Her efforts were in vain though.

"Bullshit," spat Edward. "No, Alex, you're the one who needs help. You need help understanding your place," he shouted, delivering a punch to her stomach which caused her to curl round herself in pain, fighting back the urge to be sick. Through the agony, she loosely registered Edward getting up from the bed and scrabbling round by her wrist. Suddenly, she was free from the handcuffs. Her first instinct was to get up from the bed and make a run for it. However, Edward seemed to be reading her mind. He was one step ahead of her. "Don't. You. Dare," he growled, punctuating each word with a slap. Alex felt the sobs rising. She had promised herself earlier that she wouldn't cry in front of Lichfield; she wouldn't show him what a scrap of a human being he had worn her down to, but right now she was in so much pain and being crushed by such fear that she had to cry it out or she felt it would kill her. She couldn't die here, at the hands of her abusive ex-fiancé because she had to see Gene again. She had to hold him and whisper to him. She had to love him and that meant she had to live for him.

Edward pulled Alex to her feet, leading her to the very middle of the room, too far away from the window and too far away from the door, which was tantalisingly ajar. She stood where she was, staring ahead, arms by her side. Lichfield began to walk around her, looking her up and down like he was sizing her up. As he was doing this, Alex gazed longingly at the door and caught sight of herself through the gap in the hallway mirror. What she saw shocked her. She thought she had managed to keep traces of fear out of her expression, but in her reflection, she saw a tearstained face with a bruised cheek, panicked eyes and a pale complexion. You only had to take one fleeting glance at her to see she was terrified.

She froze as she heard a crash from deep inside the flat. However, Edward didn't seem to hear it. He was too busy running his leering gaze over Alex's body. He stood so he was facing her again. He spent a long time looking into her eyes, his face giving nothing away. He stepped towards her. Alex stiffened. He mashed his lips against hers, forcing his tongue inside her mouth. One hand moved to her breast and the other hooked around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Disgusted, Alex pulled back and pushed him away.

"Get off me," she spat.

"How dare you," he sneered, backhanding her across the face. "You'll pay for that," he growled. "You're my fiancée, Alex. You do as I say; you respect me; you don't have an opinion. Your job is to stay at home and cook me dinner, keep my house clean and have my children." Edward was suddenly silent. He looked at her deeply. "You know," he said, almost in bewilderment, "I'm surprised you didn't get pregnant before you did a runner..." he said, more to himself. Alex closed her eyes and tried not to panic.

"_Oh, god, no. Please don't go there," _she silently begged. She opened her eyes and looked at Edward again. That was a mistake. Alex had no idea what gave her away. It could have been a look on her face; it could have been in her eyes; maybe Lichfield just worked it out.

"You _did_ get pregnant, didn't you?" he accused. Alex looked at the ground. She didn't say anything. "I got you pregnant." He sounded triumphant. "Why don't you look pregnant, Alex? You've still got a _killer_ figure," he said, lecherously dragging his eyes over her body. Alex swallowed. She hoped he couldn't hear the thudding of her heart.

"You did. You got me pregnant, Edward," she whispered, looking at the floor. She had no idea why she admitted it. Maybe because she knew that either way he would find out and either way it would all end in tears.

"I knew it! Why don't you look pregnant then?" There was a minute or so of silence. Alex could practically hear the cogs in his mind turning. "Oh my god. You _didn't_," he growled. He had worked out exactly what she had done. However, he wasn't concerned nor was he even particularly bothered about his unborn child. Babies were easy enough to make. He could easily do it again. He was more bothered about her insulting his manhood; his authority by terminating the pregnancy; the one he had caused. "You murdering, lying, poisonous _bitch,"_ he spat.

Trying not to show her fear, but knowing she was failing, Alex turned her gaze back to the door, waiting for the punches and slaps to rain down on her. Through the mist of tears, a flicker of movement in the hallway mirror caught her eye. She blinked a few times to clear her vision and refocused on the mirror. The movement she had seen was Gene's reflection as he pressed himself with his back against the wall next to the bedroom door. At first she thought she was so desperate to see him that she was imagining him. However, she blinked again and he was still there. As she took a wobbly step back from Edward's advancing bulk, she locked eyes with Gene's reflection. She saw something in his eyes. What was it? A mixture of relief at finding her and sorrow at seeing her, once again, at Lichfield's mercy? As she gazed intently into his eyes, Gene brought a finger to his lips, signalling her to be quiet as he drew his gun, motioning to the out of sight officers (who she assumed were Chris and Ray) to do the same. He was obviously waiting for the right moment to pounce. Alex just hoped it would be soon.

She turned her attention back to Edward who now loomed over her.

"You'll pay for that." Again, Alex braced herself for the violence that was bound to be coming her way. She expected it. She had disrespected, disobeyed and insulted him. However, the beating never came. Instead, he spoke again. "You're going to have to beg me for forgiveness," he hissed, pressing himself against her, leaving Alex in no doubt as to how he was going to make her 'beg'. "You're going to get onto your knees and beg me to forgive you."

"No, I won't," she said. She tried to sound threatening but was unsure whether she did or not.

"You'll do as you're told, Alex, or I swear to god you won't know what's hit you once we get back to California. I have a whole bunch of contacts out there that would willingly pay me big bucks to have you, just for a few hours," he growled, anger and dominance flashing in his puppy dog brown eyes.

"NO!" Alex screamed, pushing him away from her and running towards the door. Taken by surprise, Edward stumbled backwards but quickly righted himself. He caught up with Alex in two quick strides and grabbed her round the waist.

"You're in for it now," he snarled. "You've pushed your luck one too many times." He pushed her against the wall and punched her in the kidneys so she doubled over and collapsed to the floor. He laid into her then, kicking her and slapping her. Alex screamed and cried out in pain and fear, tears scalding her cheeks and irritating the bruises she already had on there. Why was Gene letting this happen? He could see into the room using the mirror and even if he couldn't see her, he would be able to hear her.

"Help me!" she screamed.

"No one's going to come for you, you stupid little slut," Lichfield sniped, slapping her across the face. Alex felt her lip split open and a warm slick of blood trickle from the cut.

"Is that right?" came a voice from behind Edward. He froze where he was and slowly straightened up, turning to face the owner of the voice. Standing in the middle of the room, gun raised and pointed at its target, was Gene Hunt, flanked by Chris and Ray. He had on his face a hard look of determination, like nothing would get in the way of him and rescuing Alex from the absolute hell she was in. Hatred for Lichfield seeped from every pore on Gene's body and his jaw was set in a determined line. However, what he was feeling inside was a completely different story. His chest constricted at seeing Alex collapsed on the floor, her face bruised and bleeding, her hair tangled and matted and her clothes crumpled and torn. He felt achingly sorry for her as she pulled herself up into a sitting position propped against the wall. "Y'know, I'd leave her alone if I were you," Gene growled.

"Oh yeah? Why should I?" Lichfield asked, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Because, you scumbag Yank, I'm the one with the gun."

"Gene, no!" Alex cried from where she was slumped.

"Shut up," Edward spat, swiftly kicking Alex in the ribs, causing her to let out a choked sob of pain. She didn't know how much more battering her body could take. Gene winced and briefly caught Alex's eye.

"_I'll get you out of here," _he tried to say to her with his gaze. He wanted nothing more than to drop his gun, run to her and hold her; make her better and tell her everything would be ok. However, he knew he couldn't show any weakness in front of Lichfield if he wanted to get Alex out. If he did, it would be game over. He turned his attention back to Edward.

"I said leave her alone. Let her go. It's over, Lichfield. We're going to arrest you and you're going to be going for a nice, long holiday in a lovely, luxury English prison cell."

"Really?" Edward raised an eyebrow. "You might want to reconsider that bold statement of yours, Mr Hunt," he stated. He grabbed Alex's wrist and hauled her to her feet. Alex swayed dizzily. Edward held her in front of him, reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out his knife. Alex felt the blade come to rest against the delicate skin of her throat, perfectly cool yet burning her at the same time. Gene felt his breathing hitch and his blood ran cold, but he hoped Lichfield didn't notice. "You see, Mr Hunt, if you try and arrest me, I'll unzip Alex's throat just wide enough to give her a slow and painful death. Do you really want that on your hands? However, if you let me walk out of here and take Alex with me, her life is guaranteed. Sure, her happiness isn't, but as I was telling her earlier, everything I do is for her own good."

"I somehow doubt that," Gene replied through gritted teeth, looking at the shadow of the woman he loved and wondering how anyone could think beating her to a pulp was for her own good. Lichfield ignored his comment and continued, seemingly loving the sound of his own voice.

"So, if you really care for Alex as much as I know you do, you'll drop your weapons and let me walk out of here and take her back to America with me. You won't follow me either." He stared into Gene's eyes, challenging him. However, Gene didn't budge. He knew all the time he had his gun pointed, Lichfield wouldn't move. However, he didn't dare fire in case he hit Alex, and Edward knew that. She was pulled flush against him and was trembling so badly that a bullet could easily hit her. He gazed into Alex's eyes, trying to send his message to her without Lichfield seeing.

"_I love you," _he tried to say.

"Gene, please," she whispered, tears flowing silently from her tortured eyes. However, they were also soft with something else. Was it love and trust? Alex trusted him. Sighing, Gene slowly bent to the floor and put his gun down, something he had never done before. Ray and Chris exchanged confused glances but a glare from Lichfield prompted them to do the same.

"A wise choice," Edward said softly. "Now, if you don't mind, Alex and I have somewhere we need to be," he finished, relaxing his grip on her a little but keeping the knife against her throat and kissing her cheek. Alex tried not to shudder. He began to walk her across the room and towards the door.

"Edward, wait," she said quietly. Lichfield froze where he was, for some reason wanting to hear what Alex had to say. Alex took a deep breath. She knew that Edward was so unpredictable that this could end horribly, but she had to try. "Edward, please. Remember all those months ago when you first met me? At the wine bar in Bethnal Green?" Edward nodded. "Well, I know that when we first met, you felt something for me. I'm not sure what it was. It might not have been love, it might have just been an attraction; lust, even, but I know you cared about me back then. You made me feel so special. You gave me you number and you took me round London...Now look at you though. Just stop and look at what you're doing. Do you really want to be like this? Is this what you want to do? Is this really the sort of reputation you want? I ask because I know that deep down you still care for me. You told me yourself earlier that you care. Please, Edward, just stop this. Let me go. Pease," she begged, her voice quiet and shaking, but strong with emotion. Lichfield, for a while, said nothing, as if he was chewing over what she had just said. Then, Alex heard him take a deep breath.

"You're right, Alex. I do care about you. I really do, in a way," he began, moving the knife away from her throat. Alex allowed herself to relax a little. "But if I can't have you," he continued calmly, plunging the knife into Alex's ribs, "then no one can," he finished, cruelly twisting the blade, causing her to let out a squeak of pain. He pulled the knife out of her skin and pushed her towards Gene, before starting to run from the room.

Alex slumped against Gene, grabbing on tightly to his shirt to try and stay standing as blood poured from the gaping wound in her ribs. Gene grasped her around the waist and the shoulders, taking nearly all her weight. His heart was in his throat and he was struggling to remember how to breathe as he felt Alex growing heavier against him, heard her gasping for breath. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. He was vaguely aware, on the fringe of his consciousness, of Ray and Chris running from the room after Lichfield and he was briefly thankful for the Uniform backup waiting outside, but his attention was focused solely on Alex, the woman he loved who was clinging onto him right now like her life depended on it. Well, it did. The blood was rushing from the hole in her torso like someone had turned on a tap full blast. He knew she was losing too much too quickly.

Alex felt herself growing weaker and the roaring pain from stab wound growing stronger. Even though she was leaning heavily against Gene, she could no longer support herself and collapsed to the floor. Because of her vice-like death grip on Gene's shirt, he fell to his knees beside her.

"Gene," she choked out in a panicked, high pitched voice, tears streaming down her agonised face. She could feel the first trickles of blood rising in her throat.

"Shh, Bolly, you're going to be fine," he tried to reassure her in a shaky voice, trying not to show her how scared he was. Finally, those basic first aid skills that everyone picks up as they wander through life kicked in. He pulled off his jacket and hastily screwed it into a ball and pressed it firmly against the gaping hole in her ribs. With his free hand, he gently pulled her head and shoulders onto his lap.

"Gene, I can't breathe," she sobbed weakly, beginning to shake now and feeling the blinding panic set in as the primal instinct to survive kicked in. "I'm scared," she whispered. She was sounding weaker and weaker with every word; every breath.

"Come on, Bolly, be brave. Please be brave, for me," he begged as he watched the colour begin to drain from her face. "You're going to be fine. You'll be absolutely fine." Gene knew he was trying to reassure himself just as much as her. He gazed into her beautiful eyes which gleamed with tears but were growing duller with every second that dragged by. He realised that her blood had completely saturated his jacket on one side, so he quickly turned it over to the cleaner, drier side.

"You're gorgeous, Bols," he whispered gently, smoothing her hair back from her face. She was shaking more violently now and her vision was beginning to blur, but she could still see Gene clearly. The only two things she was aware of now were Gene and the pain.

"I love you so much," she whispered, gazing up at him. Her voice was so weak he could barely hear it. Gene closed his eyes, trying to rid them of the sting they had developed. "Gene," she croaked. Gene opened his eyes and looked into hers, the beautiful eyes she was struggling to keep open. "S...say it."

"Not now, Alex. I'll say it later when you open your eyes again," he told her gently, feeling something that felt like a tear slide down his face. He thought he saw Alex smile weakly.

"Y...you know as...well as...I do, that's not...going to happen," she struggled out. Speaking was obviously becoming difficult for her.

"Don't you dare say that, Alex. You can't. You can't go."

"Please...s...say it," she pleaded. She knew her voice wasn't up to much now, so she begged with her eyes. Gene's vision misted over as he realised he could be about to lose Alex again. He realised he could only have one last chance to tell her before she left, this time for good. He knew there would be no phone calls from the airport. You couldn't hop on an aeroplane once you were dead to get back to the ones you loved. He stroked her hair again. "Please." Her voice was a wisp now. He didn't hear her say it, but saw her lips form the word. He couldn't let her leave this world without telling her.

"I love you too, Alex, so, so much," he told her emotionally, bending his head and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. He looked back down at her again and saw her give the weakest of smiles before her eyes finally lost their battle to stay open at the same time as his lost their battle to stay dry.

"Alex," he whispered, stroking her face.

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**I'm so sorry guys :'(**

**I was really seriously debating whether or not to post this chapter, but you have all be so supportive throughout this fic that I decided I should because you all deserve to see this fic finished. Thank you everyone :)**

**So, Alex might be dead/dying......**

**However, I have faithfully promised Jazzola and all the lovely people on Tumblr that the next deleted scene I post to All The Things In Between will be fluff. Pure fluff and nothing else. If not, you all have permission to hunt me down and kill me :o I hope this sort of compensates...**

**Thanks so, so, so much for reading and sticking with me and please drop me a review, even if it's just to tell me how I am now in the lofty ranks of evilness with Voldemort, Keats, Scar, Jafar, Cinderella's/Snow White's evil stepmothers/the evil fairy from Sleeping Beauty/Regina George/Captian Hook/the poachers from The Wild Thornberries Movie...All that gang!**

**I'll try not to keep you waiting too long for an update!**

**xxxx**


	13. Chapter Twelve: When You're Gone

**Well, here we are! The final chapter! Thanks to everyone who has alerted/reviewed/favourited and just generally supported me with this fic! There is still an epilogue to come after this, so it's not quite over yet!**

**Please review when you're done reading...Oh yeah, heads up for possible OOC Gene...**

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Gene sat in the chair, his body aching from sleepless nights, guilt and sadness. He gazed at the pale, battered lifeless body before him, as he had done every day since her stabbing, eight days ago. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and blinked a few times to clear his vision.

"Mornin', Bols," he said, taking her hand, being careful not to interrupt any of the tubes or wires that were keeping her alive. "Err...it's Tuesday today, but last night, the Super gave me two weeks compassionate leave because we finally managed to charge Lichfield. He's been denied bail so he's in prison right now, awaiting trial. The case is watertight, Bolly. Your blood and his fingerprints were found on the knife, your blood was on his clothes and your DNA was in his car. There's also CCTV footage of him making you walk up to his flat. He didn't conceal the knife very well with that poncy trench coat of his. Mrs Chester, Betty, also gave a witness statement that puts him in the frame, slap bang in the middle of it. He's going away for a long time, Alex. He won't get to you ever again. All we need now is for you to wake up and give a statement; if we present that to a jury, well, he won't stand a chance." Gene paused for while, just watching Alex lie there. When he spoke again, his voice was thick with barely concealed emotion.

"You need to wake up, Alex. _I _need you to wake up. Remember that day last week; the day before this happened to you; we were sat in the kitchen? I told you that when you were in America, I was bloody lonely. You weren't there to wind me up or spark off me or reassure me or get drunk with me. It was one of the loneliest times of my life, Bolly, and no matter how hard I worked or how pissed I got, the loneliness never went away. Well, I feel like that right now. You're not here, Bols, and I've never felt so alone. The bed's cold without you. Yes, I actually get some of the duvet now, but I'd rather be shiverin' and have you next to me. Also, I'm back to living off baked beans, cheese on toast and tinned soup. I need you to cook me something before I waste away to nothing!

"I'm serious though, Alex, the flat is too quiet without you. It's just like it was when I first moved there-a place to leave my stuff and retreat to when the pubs close. I try and avoid it as much as possible because it just reminds me of how I have no one there waiting for me when I clock off. However, when you lived there with me, it made me see it in a totally different light. I found I would deliberately give Luigi's a miss just so I could get back quicker because I knew you would be there for me. I knew the flat would be warm and welcoming because you had been there all day, doing whatever it was you did when I wasn't there. In short, love, you made me see the place as home for the first time. However, now it's just a drab, cold, grey box again. You're not there, so it's not home. I miss you, Alex." Gene had to stop talking. He was getting too emotional. He took a few minutes to compose himself before he spoke to her again.

"Wherever you are, it must be nicer than here because you're spending a long time there. The doctors managed to re-inflate and repair your lung, they stemmed the internal bleeding and you've been given a blood transfusion. They've also pumped you full of painkillers, antibiotics and vitamins, so really, you should be able to come back to me.

"Where are you, Bolly? Are you dreaming; are you in some sort of weird other world? Can you even hear me? The doctors said I should talk to you because there's a slim chance you might be able to. I'm not sure if I want you to be able to hear me or not. I am very aware of the fact that I sound like a poof a lot of the time when I'm talking to you and I don't want that to dent that manly reputation of mine; the one that made you pass out with excitement the day we met! However, I also want you to know how much you mean to me and I do mean every single word I'm saying. I know I probably don't say enough things like this to you when you're conscious, but it doesn't mean I don't think them. I love you, Alex. I have done for a long, long time. Y'know, when my wife left me and then Sammy Boy died, everything turned to shit for me. Things couldn't have got any worse, even if someone told me the world's whiskey reserves had run dry. I thought I was never going to feel human again, but then you arrived and in less than twenty four hours, you turned me around. I knew I had met my match and I had to be top of my game if I was going to keep up with you. Thank you, Bolly. Thank you for giving me a kick up the arse and making me sort my life out. You've helped me in more ways than you'll ever know." Gene rested his voice again. He lightly ran his thumb over Alex's knuckles and didn't take his eyes off her. Maybe if he watched her for long enough, something would happen. She would open her eyes or twitch or speak or sit up. However, she stayed still. No person should be that still.

"The doctors have told me that you're in a coma because you're so badly damaged. They say your body needs time to repair, but you're so hurt, it might never be able to repair itself so you might never wake up." His voice wavered dangerously. "You have to wake up though. I know you will because you're strong and amazing and clever and sexy and a fighter and you don't give up. Your life is just too precious to waste like this. Lichfield was a prat for not seeing that. He just took you for granted and didn't care about how you felt. You don't need me to tell you that though. You experienced it firsthand. I'm still beating myself up over that. I was so jealous that I didn't see what was going on, pretty much under my nose. I was jealous that he had you, your attention and affection and company. Turns out he didn't deserve it though. And you didn't deserve what he did to you.

"I hate him, Bolly, I really do. He's the one who put you here; caused you to have to be hooked up to machines to survive. He is the one who is causing you to waste away in a bloody coma when you should be out there living your life, doing what you're good at, doing what you love. He deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his life. He is the lowest form of criminal scum. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd snap his neck. But then I'd probably get done for GBH or something and then I wouldn't be able to see you.

"Look, Bolly, I know I can't turn back time and stop the last year or so from happening, but I can make promises. I promise I'll look after you. I promise I'll be there for you. I promise to tell you every day how much you mean to me; what you mean to me. But for me to be able to do that, you have to wake up. You have to wake up so I can say it to your face; so you can tell me to stop being such a cowardly bastard and just come out with it. Because you know me, I won't say it without you around. I need you, Bols. You bring out the best in me, but you also bring out the worst in me at times too. However, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It showed me what my life would be like if you weren't around. It just proved to me that I need to treat you properly; hold on to you because things aren't much fun when you're not here. Take now, for example. I'm sat in the world's most uncomfortable chair, talking and saying things to you that I wouldn't have the guts to say to you normally, and things I certainly wouldn't want the lads to hear, whilst you lie unresponsive, clinging to your life when I could be out there with you right now. We could be catching scum, we could be sat in Luigi's, you could be dragging me round some poncy art gallery, we could be arguing over something pointless or we could be sat on the sofa, watching some crap on telly. However, we can't do that because you're in here, Bolly, and that's not fair. You shouldn't be here. You're so still and quiet and it scares me." His voice wavered and cracked and he leant forwards, resting his head on the bed. "Please wake up, Alex. Please, please, please open your eyes. I don't want to lose you again." He stayed in the same position for a while, trying to calm himself down. When he sat back up, the blanket was a little bit damp and his eyes were redder than they had been before. He laced his fingers back through hers.

"Shaz and Chris will probably pop in a bit later. They come in to see you most afternoons. They both missed you, Shaz especially, when you were in America. I think she was a bit miffed at being the only bird in the office again. She seemed quite excited when I told everyone you might be getting your old job back. She was going to have her partner in crime back. Please don't let her down, Bols. Chris missed you too. He didn't have anyone to turn to when he pissed off Shaz. That seemed to happen quite a lot when you were gone. Ray just took the piss when it happened, and I wasn't exactly the most approachable person in the world at the time.

"Ray. Well, Ray, I think he missed you too. Not that he would ever admit it though. He was cock-a-hoop when he got his promotion but I don't think he anticipated just how much hard work being a DI is. You probably made it look too easy and I think he was slightly baffled by how you did it. He said to me after his first week that it was true that you don't appreciate what someone actually does until they're not there to do it. He doesn't come in to visit as much as me and the others. He came in the day after your operation and then again on Saturday and Sunday. He doesn't like hospitals though. I think it's something to do with something that happened when we were kids in Manchester and the bastard nicked my bike...Anyway, that's probably a story for another day. Also, I think he finds it a little bit difficult seeing you here like this. He's used to arguing with you or eyeing you up across the office or in Luigi's. When he told me, a few weeks after you first arrived, that he wouldn't mind seeing what you were like in bed, I don't think this is quite what he had in mind." Running out of things to say for the moment, Gene reached out and stroked Alex's hair with his free hand. He twirled a lock of it around his finger.

"It was the hardest thing, y'know, standing outside that room and hearing you crying and screaming for help as he beat you up. I just wanted to burst in there and yank the bastard off you, but I had to be careful. One wrong move and we would have lost him or there wouldn't have been enough evidence to nail him. It was horrible though, listening to you screaming. You sounded so...so _broken_. That's the only way I can describe it. When we finally burst into the room, you were there, all crumpled on the floor, looking all lost and defeated. That's just not you though, Bolly. You're strong and sure of yourself and you just get on with things.

"The thing is, Bols, at the moment, Lichfield is only being charged with abduction, false imprisonment, assault and attempted murder, all of which he deserves to, and will, go down for. However, we have nothing to prove the rape and domestic abuse, which he deserves to go down for as well. If you can wake up, though, and testify against him, we can charge him for that too. If you die though he'll get done for murder, sent down for life and then he'll be released in fifteen, twenty years. And I don't want that, Bolly, and I'm sure you don't either. I want him to rot in prison for what he did to you.

"Please don't die, Alex. Wake up now. I need you. You need to come back to me because, to be honest, I don't think I could cope with losing you again; I won't be able to cope without you in my life. I lost Sam and I don't want to lose you too. I lose everyone who's...who's important to me. Sam-he was my best friend. He taught me so much and although he could be a picky pain in the arse, we had a laugh. He just knew what to say; he had an answer for everything. Me wife, well, I _thought _she was important to me but in the end, she just let me down. She ran off with some tosser from her schooldays. Me Mam, she's the most important woman in my life, apart from you. She still lives in Manchester, in the same house I grew up in. When I moved down to London, I promised I would travel back up to see her. I never have. I phone her lots, but that's it. It feels like I've lost her though. I only have myself to blame for that one I suppose.

"What I'm trying to say, Alex , is everyone who I have ever felt close to, everyone who I've ever loved or respected has gone from my life, and, if what the doctors are saying is true, you're heading that way too, and you can't. I've told you before what a mess I was when you were gone and I'm scared of what will happen if you go because I...I love you so much." Gene ran a hand over his face. He was far, far too emotional. He couldn't be like this around Alex. He had to be strong for her.

"I'm going to go now, Bolly. I promise I'll come back later when I'm less...When I've sorted myself out." He let go of her hand, stood up and leant over to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "See you later," he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady.

Closing his eyes, he turned his back on her, took a deep breath and started to walk from the room, feeling guiltier with every step he took away from her.

"Gene?"

He froze. Was that...?

"Gene?"

Her voice was a bit louder this time, but still weak and shaky. He was convinced he was imagining it. She _couldn't _be awake, not with the report the doctor had given him, could she? He turned back around to face his comatose girlfriend, only to discover he was looking into a pair of brown eyes which were open, soulful, confused and scared.

"Please stay," she whispered. Gene crossed the room again and carefully gathered her into his arms and hugged her closely.

"Of course I will, Bolly," he whispered back to her. He felt a few tears land on his shoulder. As he breathed in her feminine smell and held her tighter, a few rolled off his own face as well.

* * *

**You guys were LUCKY! When I planned this story, months back, this chapter was originally going to be Gene talking to Alex's body as she lay in the morgue. However, when I wrote this chapter a month or so back, I just couldn't bring my self to kill her off, and by this point, you all have suffered enough angst from me!**

**Well, thanks again for reading and please review, even if it's only a line! Hoping to have the epilogue up soon!**

**THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE! I LOVE YOU ALL! xxxx**


	14. Epilogue: Who Knows?

**Woah! It's the end already! I can't believe it! Longer A/N at the bottom!**

**Enjoy the epilogue for now!**

* * *

_**Nine months later...**_

Alex woke to a blaze of kisses down her spine. She smiled lazily and opened her eyes.

"Morning, Gene," she mumbled as he kissed his way back up her body and let his head rest on her shoulder as she rolled over onto her back.

"Mornin'," he murmured back, looking sexily mussed; a look that caused Alex's body to react in a way for which she could not be held responsible. "Sleep alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled and stretched.

"Thought you did. There was no talking or screaming or crying in the middle of the night."

"That's because I didn't have any nightmares."

In the months since Alex's final ordeal with Edward, she had been prone to nightmares, headaches and fainting because of the stress. Her recovery had been slow. It had been just over six months before she stopped relying on painkillers and a little bit longer before she stopped growing short of breath quickly, due to the damage that Edward's knife had caused to her lung. The doctors, shortly after Alex had woken from her coma, had told them both it was nothing short of a miracle that Alex had woken up at all and maybe they had slightly over estimated how damaged she was but it was still highly likely that she could have some permanent damage to her body.

Alex and Gene, however, knew it was more than that. Alex was adamant that it was Gene's voice, so full of love and worry and panic and despair that had caused her to grit her teeth and battle her way through the pain and agony it caused her to wake up and recover. They both knew, deep down, that it was their love and commitment to one another that had brought them back together. Yes, there had been difficulties along the way-Alex had been in a lot of pain for a lot of the time and there had been tears, doubts, anger and resentment-but Gene had helped her through it. His belief in her never wavered, even when that of the doctors and consultants and therapists, and even her own, had. Touch wood, there hadn't been any permanent damage. However, Alex wasn't quite the same as she was before the trouble with Lichfield started. She was a little more cautious and not as bolshie as she used to be and it now took longer to gain her trust. Apart from this, Alex had recovered well and her life was beginning to return to something near normality.

She had been back working as a DI at Fenchurch East for the past three months now that she was stronger again, and her relationship with Gene was closer and tighter than ever. Nearly being split up permanently by life and death had made them appreciate and love each other just that little bit more.

Gene, noticing Alex was beginning to drift back to sleep, gently brushed her fringe out of her eyes.

"I love you," he whispered. He had kept the promise he had made to her in the hospital. Every day since she had fought off death and woken up, he had told her how much she meant to him at least once each day. He usually did it first thing in the morning when Alex was still sleepy, last thing at night when she was about to drop off or just after they had made love, when she was blissed out and dozing lightly. However, very occasionally, he would say it during the day, sometimes whispering it in her ear when they were cuddled up on the sofa, or quietly over a glass of wine at Luigi's. He had told her the time she had brought him breakfast in bed, and the time just before they had run into a building full of armed blaggers. Luckily, they had both escaped unharmed. A bullet had clipped Ray's forearm and Chris had twisted his ankle, but the A Team had lived to fight another day. Gene had told Alex that he loved her again that day, right after they had stepped back out of the building, criminal scum cuffed and in tow. The great thing was, Alex never neglected to say it back.

"I love you too," she replied quietly, dragging her sleepy eyes open again. "Thank you," she added, pulling his head towards hers to kiss him.

"What for?" he asked when they broke apart.

"For being there for me. You've helped make everything a lot less stressful."

"You know I wouldn't have been anywhere else, Bolly. Anyway, we don't really want you getting stressed, especially now," he said gently, tracing patterns on her lower stomach before resting his hand on it. Alex sighed.

"Gene," she began softly, "please don't get too excited. I said I _might _be. Please don't get your hopes up because I'd hate to see them crushed." Gene leant over and kissed her.

"Whether you are or not, I'll still be here."

"Good," she grinned, tracing patterns down his back. "Gene?"

"Yup?"

"If I am, I'd like to give this child the best chance at life that I can, especially after what I did last time..."

"It's fine, Bols," he whispered. He knew the guilt of the abortion still chewed her up every day. However, she was learning to cope with it.

"I'd like to give our child the best shot at life that we can."

"So would I."

"So, can we move to a proper house?" she asked with wide eyes, shining with hope. "A big one, with a garden and plenty of bedrooms, on a quieter street? In a nice area with lots of green space, and near a good school too?"

"If that's what you want," he said, brushing her hair behind her ear and laughing at her house hunting list.

"Thank you so much," she smiled in reply. "Even if I'm not pregnant, can we still move anyway? I just really like the thought of _us_ buying a house together instead of me living in your flat with you and chipping in half for the bills each month."

"Whatever makes you happy, Bols," he agreed. She looked at him in concern.

"Is it what you want too, though?"

"Of course, you dippy tart!" he grinned.

"Oh, I love you so much," she gushed.

"C'mere," he said gruffly, pulling her towards him. He took her left hand in his and admired the ring that encircled her third finger, stroking it lightly with his thumb. It was a thin gold band, crowned with a circle of rubies with an opal nestled in the centre. Gene had seen the ring in an antiques shop the day after Alex had woken up, as he was walking through town to buy her some cosy pyjamas to wear in hospital. The shine of the opal combined with the sparkle of the rubies had caught his eye as he had wandered past the shop. He had cast his mind back a few months to when Alex had been wearing Lichfield's engagement ring. He had thought to himself that he would have chosen her a ruby or an opal instead of a flashy diamond. Well, winking up at him from the dusty books, paintings and china had been a combination of the two. The ring summed Alex up perfectly. He had gone into the shop immediately and brought the ring. It had cost him a month's wages, on top of some of his savings, but he didn't care. He had taken it to a jewellers owned by someone who owed him a favour and had it cleaned as the band was slightly tarnished and the stones were a little duller than they should have been. After that, the ring had gleamed as brightly as a child's eyes on Christmas Day; however, there were still a few scratches in the gold band due to its age. Alex said she didn't mind though as they told a story. He had held onto the ring for six months and proposed to her at home the evening after she completed her first day back in CID. Alex had been ecstatic and had pretty much jumped on him there and then. The ring was a little on the big side, so in their lunch break the next day, they had both gone back to the jewellers to get it resized. Two days later, they picked it up again and the ring had been glued to Alex's finger ever since.

"It's gorgeous," she smiled, looking at him.

"I've obviously got good taste," he smirked.

"Hmmm." She raised an eyebrow.

"Was that sarcasm, Bollinger Knickers?" he asked with a glint in his eye.

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"I think you're lying..." he smirked, pulling her closer to him. He kissed his way across her collar bone and shoulders, down her arms and across her stomach. He moved back up her torso and gently kissed the jagged circular pinkish-white scar left on her ribs from where Lichfield had attempted to kill her. Gene knew Alex was very self conscious about the scar, so every time they made love, he made sure he appreciated that part of her body just as much as everywhere else, to let her know he still thought she was perfect.

He slowly moved back up her body and their lips met in a slow, deep kiss. Gene trailed one hand lazily across her curves and down her body and between her legs. This caused Alex to moan softly into the kiss and her fingers to tangle tightly in his hair. Gene gently rolled them over so he was on top of her.

They loved each other slowly and passionately until Alex moaned his name and flopped breathlessly onto the sheets, her body tingling. She curled her arms around Gene and held him tightly when he collapsed on top of her. A few minutes after his breathing had returned to normal, she felt him grow heavier on top of her. Realising he was falling asleep again, Alex rolled them onto their sides. Flinging one leg possessively over his, she curled up into his bare chest and let a light doze claim her.

* * *

It was a good two hours later when they woke again. Gene shifted onto his back and stretched, jerking Alex awake accidently in the process.

"Hey," she complained sleepily, frowning lightly.

"Shake a leg, Bolly," he grinned.

"Don't want to," she pouted. "I want to stay here with you all day."

"Sorry, Bols, I can't. I've got to leave in a couple of hours." Alex sighed and turned to face the ceiling. Gene immediately grew concerned. "Alex, I don't have to go today if you don't want me to. Or, you could come with me and meet her."

"No, no," Alex said, facing him again. "Go today. I'll stay here. It's important that you go and see her by yourself this first time." Gene pondered this for a while.

"Yeah, you're right. You'll come next time though?"

"Of course," she smiled. Today, Gene was heading back up to Manchester to see his beloved Mam for the first time since his move down to London. Alex had persuaded him to do so, partly because some of what Gene had told her whilst she was in her coma had trickled through and partly because she knew how miserable it was to grow up without parents, and then be deprived of their company and presence in adulthood, and didn't want this misery inflicted upon Gene and was therefore adamant that he made the most of his mother and went to see her. Gene, after a lengthily discussion, had agreed and phoned his mum a few days ago to let her know he was coming to visit. Of course, Mrs Hunt had been ecstatic at the prospect of her eldest son coming to visit her. She already knew about Alex, she knew Gene was with her, but she didn't yet know that he was engaged to Alex. Gene intended to tell her when he saw her.

"Gene," Alex murmured.

"Yes, Love?"

"What happens if you mum doesn't like the fact that you're engaged to me?" she asked, nervously chewing her lip. Gene chuckled and slipped an arm under Alex's neck so he was holding her round the shoulders.

"Bolly, she'll be head over bloody heels. Ever since I got divorced she has interrogated me on me love life whenever I've been to visit or phoned. She was happy when I told her a few years back that me new DI was a bloody infuriating bird called Alex. She was delighted a few months later when I told her we were actually friends and she hit the ceiling with excitement a couple of months back when I told her I'd finally pulled you. She'll probably be doin' cartwheels when I tell her I'm gonna be making an honest woman of you," he smiled. Alex giggled.

"I can't wait to meet her."

"You will soon enough."

"Err...How much does she know about..." Alex's eyes dulled slightly. Gene knew what she was referring to.

"A little bit. She knows you nearly died and she knows you were engaged before. I told her it broke down because you were unhappy and you argued with him too much." Alex nodded. "Thing is, Bols, I feel really bad lying to her. I just can't do it. Anyway, she always manages to get hold of the truth somehow..."

"So _that's_ where you get your copper's instinct and inimitable interrogation skills from," she giggled. "Seriously though, if you need to, tell her. She's your mother. Tell her."

"If you're sure?" Gene replied, pecking her on the lips. Alex nodded. "Now," he grinned, "you gonna make me some breakfast?" Alex rolled her eyes.

"I made you breakfast yesterday. And the day before _and _the day before that."

"Yeah, but I just shagged your brains out. You need to repay me somehow."

Muttering and cursing under her breath, Alex dragged herself out of bed and pulled her dressing gown on.

"Good girl," Gene smirked. Giving him the two fingered salute, Alex stalked from the room. However, as soon as she turned her back on Gene, she was smiling. She loved that man so much.

She made two rounds of toast, spreading Gene's with marmalade and her own with Marmite.

"Oi! Hunt!" She called through to the bedroom. "If you want your breakfast, get your arse out of bed."

Gene appeared in the kitchen wearing his dressing gown a minute or so later.

"Christ, Drake, old Betty downstairs will think you've turned into a right common tart, shouting like that!"

"I've obviously been living with you _far_ too long," she replied, giving him his tea.

"You love it really," he growled, pulling her onto his lap for a kiss. She smiled, squeezed his knee and went and sat in her own chair.

"You sure you're ok, driving to Manchester and back in one day?" she asked as they ate.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. If I leave in an hour or so, I'll be there for about oneish. I'll see Mam, pop into the station to see Annie and the lads, pop back to Mam's and then leave about nine or ten, so I'll be back here about one or two tomorrow morning."

"You're bonkers, Gene. Why don't you just stay in Manchester overnight?"

"'Cause I need to be in CID tomorrow. I'll be back by two at the latest. Don't wait up."

"You know I will. I can't sleep when you're not there."

"No. Bad Alex. You go to bed," he ordered. She giggled.

"You know I won't sleep though."

"I promise not to do a runner," he joked.

"You'd better not. I need you here," she replied with a smile.

"You'll be fine, Bolly. Just drink yer hot cocoa and read yourself a bedtime story and I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll warm the bed up for you," she offered.

"That's my girl," he replied, leaning across the small table to give her a kiss. He pulled a face when they pulled back.

"What?" she demanded, giggling.

"You taste all Marmite-y," he complained. Gene hated the stuff.

"Doesn't stop you normally." All she got was a grunt in response. She rolled her eyes playfully. "Be gone with you. Go and get dressed. I'll wash up," she said, taking his empty plate from him and stacking it along with hers on the side, next to last night's dinner stuff and turning the tap on.

"You're turning into a right little housewife," he smirked.

"Watch it," she warned, flicking soap bubbles at him. "Anyway, I'm not even your wife yet."

"Can't wait until you are though," he growled, grabbing her round the waist and holding her close. Alex smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. This was nice. Gene hardly ever initiated cuddling normally, but when he did, it always made her feel so loved, happy, safe and warm. She knew he was nervous about leaving her alone today. This was the first time since Alex's stabbing that they were going to be spending longer than the nine hour working day apart. She also knew this was why he wasn't staying overnight in Manchester. "Bols," he whispered.

"Mmm?"

"The sink's about to overflow, Love." He gave her a squeeze and released her, heading off to shower and dress. With a massive, soppy, loved up grin on her face, Alex turned her attention to the washing up.

* * *

About an hour later, Gene and Alex were stood in the gravelly car park by the Quattro.

"I'll see you later," she said.

"Yep." Alex could tell Gene was nervous.

"Gene, she's your mother. She'll be delighted to see you, no matter how long it's been since you last saw each other. Anyway, it's not like you've been completely cut off from her. You've spoken to her on the phone at least twice a week since you moved," she reassured, brushing a lock of his hair back into place.

"It's not that I'm worried about," he admitted, taking her hand. Alex smiled.

"I'll be fine. It's not like I'll be alone during the day. Shaz and I are going out for lunch and I expect we'll probably go shopping too. I need to find something to wear to her wedding."

"Just don't go breaking the bank. We've got a wedding and, as of this morning, a house to save for," he told her. Then, he remembered just how lucky he was to have her standing opposite him right now. "Oh, what the hell. Do your worst," he said. Alex hugged him close and felt tears gathering in her eyes; tears of happiness and love. She pulled him in for a soft kiss.

"See you later," she murmured.

"Yeah, see you later, Bolly."

"Have a good day, and drive _carefully_," she added.

"Is that a dig at my driving skills, Drake?" he asked, eyebrow raised. She smiled at him as he got in the car.

"Love you," she said, leaning in through the open window to kiss him once more.

"Love you too," he replied gently and Alex's heart soared. "Keep that bed warm," he winked. Alex smiled again and waved him off as he reversed the car out of the driveway in his unique fashion and then accelerated down the road.

As Alex watched the bright red car turn right at the end of the street, she felt a flutter of anticipation. Beyond the wedding, she had no idea what life would hold for her and Gene. She rested her hand on her flat stomach. Was there a baby growing in there? She didn't know. However, she knew that whatever life threw at her and Gene, they would face it full on and together because they had been through so much to get to this stage in their relationship. They would be silly to let anything come between them.

Alex knew, as she wandered back up to the flat, that whatever life threw at her and her fiancé, they would be fabulous.

* * *

**First off, I go through this whole story, and managed to stick to the theme I set myself for the title/chapter names...Anyone else worked it out? :p**

**Secondly, I will still be updating the companion to this, 'All The Things In Between' because there's still some stuff I'd like to cover that I didn't in this story! You can find it here: s/8354002/1/All_The_Things_In_Between**

**Thirdly, but most importantly, THANK YOU SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVELY SUPPORT THAT I HAVE RECIEVED THROUGHOUT THIS! I have honestly been overwhelmed by it all, and I appreciate so much! I know I have been really horrible to Galex throughout this story, so thanks so much for sticking with it! You're all awesome! Thanks for reading it and motivating me to continue with it! I really stepped out of my comfort zone with this story, and I feel it has really helped my writing come along nicely, but I couldn't have done it without all you lovely readers...BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL, AND YOU'LL ALL GET AN INVITATION TO THE GALEX WEDDING WHEN IT HAPPENS! ;)**

**Please drop me one last review, I'd love to hear from you! I'm not sure when I'll next start a fic...I think I need to post some fluff first before anything else, so keep a look out! I am also considering doing a sequel to this fic...I'm not sure if I will or not, but if I do, I assure you all that it won't be as dark as this fic was...It might get a bit angsty, but not too dark! :p**

**Thanks so much everyone, free hugs all round! Please review just one last time! :)**

**xxxxxxxx**


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